I've got quite a few of these. They are easy ways to promote your brand. Foam koozies. Your logo here. 100 Minimum and $75 set up fee. I used a few until they eventually got torn up, but there are ones I save in my junk collection. Radio station? Check. Radio station I worked at? Bonus points. Put crap in the koozie for storage. Perfect.

Here's the crap. It's not like this stuff needs the scary protection provided by sooper 'IOT koozie, but it's in there. Hell, a thousand years from now, this koozie will likely still be filled with this crap. Crap like this doesn't break down in landfills. Maybe I should call this blog "The CRAP Blog." Nahhh, some of this crap does have a valued use. Who wants to be known as a guy that has a house full of crap? I guess a house full of junk isn't that much better. What's in a name. It's all worthless.

I have a thing for key chains. I have used the same damn key chains for over 30 years. A Sears home services key chain, a "Great Northern Plaza's" mall key chain and a brown leather "belt hook" key chain. That's it. I haven't used anything else, but I sure have a lot of replacements if I need them. My button box is full of them for lack of anywhere else to put them.

Here is a typical "better than the worst" beer key chain. Miller Lite is about as poo poo as it gets as a beer, but it's better than Bud or Coors light beers. I like bottle opener beer key chains. Which is why the 94.5 WXKR key chain is a good one as well. My former radio "host" at WIOT works for 94.5 and that was a freebie he gave me back in the days when they still had freebies to give. The other is a key chain with a red LED light provided by one of our "partners" (repair providers) while I worked at the Louisville warranty company. I carried one for a couple of years but it fell apart. Here's it's clone, and it's clean. (Name removed.)

Here's something I bought from a flea market. A ZAPPA patch. It's meant to be sewn onto my jeans jacket along with a Depeche Mode and New Order and KMFDM and Yo Yo Ma and Metallica and Led Zeppelin and DEVO patch. *burp* For a while, I loved Zappa's music. The first CD I bought was "Thing Fish" which the Zappa expert I bought it from told me it was considered by Zappa fans to be his worst. It recycled everything and didn't have a guitar solo! However, I thought it was funny. I like humor. I was in the process of owning every Zappa disc but then, I had rent to pay, so I sold most of the collection. He's like the Grateful Dead. You either need to collect them all or pass on everything except the hits. I really don't listen to his stuff anymore, but I'm new to the Grateful Dead...so give me time. I used to listen to Kraftwerk or Devo every day as well. Of course it helps when Sirius/XM has a 24/7 channel devoted to your band and they play your concerts  which you were damn smart enough to record pretty much all of... so that there is always something different to hear. I digress.

When I worked for the Louisville warranty company, I had the chance to go up in a balloon. We had sponsorship in a Louisville area balloon rally and all I got was this lousy pin. Float in a hot air balloon strapped to a basket with flammable materials lit in a controlled fashion? AHHHHH!  Pins are popular in Louisville. Ask anyone that has a worthless collection of pins for the Kentucky Derby festival. They are good for 10% off of a hot dog at festival vendors. They also give you preferred seating in the "thunder pots", or portable toilets brought in for the "Thunder Over Louisville" festival two weeks before the Kentucky Derby. Ahh, the near South. "Hop on the snodder and go to the CiCi's."

Then, my Tokyo Shapiro name tag. Nothing to see here. At least they didn't make us wear smocks or ties or jackets or condoms.

Finally, no cash value. There was a lasertag called "Photon." It was the first and arguably the best lasertag ever. You got dressed in a heavy battery suit and wore a surgical hat so you wouldn't get head lice when you put on the heavy helmet. Then you went into a built out, lots of lights and plastic and aircraft carpet field and played lasertag with a pounding soundtrack that would make Tangerine Dream jealous.  You'd be all sweaty from running for 6 1/2 minutes and then they would spray Lysol in your helmet. You'd eat red jump rope licorice and drink water from the fountain and play Empire City 1941 in the arcade. Fun, eh? Ahhh, but the company went under and they left their arenas as furnished shells and the one in Louisville became "Laser Blaze." Less of a laser tag system, more fluorescent paint and rock and roll soundtrack. It was still to us that played Photon, the closet thing to Photon. It wasn't. I remember when our company held a year end even there and one team was guilty of cheating in order to win. Couldn't have done that with Photon. Well, unless you were Predator. He knew all the tricks. That MF. Scoring on me when I fell down in pain from a leg cramp. Standing there. Scoring on an injured warrior. What a dick.

ARF! -Ric