I Eat Monopoly And S*IT Connect Four (Games Junk Series #3)

100_3751.JPGThe title of this post comes from one of the best RAP music lines ever. It's "Insane Clown Posse" and had me lauging for ten minutes when I first heard it. A truly brilliant verse. Up there with the Beastie Boys and Ice Cube. Meanwhile, here's one of my favorite never played games. I love it. It's simple to play, needs a little skill, very little, and essentially a vertical DOUCHE' with none of that fancy plastic and magnets.

100_3752.JPGI believe it was invented in the seventies and was a huge hit for Milton Bradley. Why? Simplicity. It was get 4 in a row. It was Tic Tac Toe with checkers and plastic and none of that DOUCHE' smell. It's why there still are many ways to consume Connect Four, but only used copies of Douche' or the new/different versions of the game that are for sale nowadays.

100_3753.JPGA man built this. It's a "assembly required" playing field and some plastic checkers. You think they would include a half assed checker board just in case you did actually want to play checkers. There has been a ton of variations on this design, but you can still buy it as it is. They made video game versions and travel versions, you can even get it as a key chain game. Oh hell, imagine how long it would take until you lost the checkers from that one....


Whoops.... I dropped all the checkers. They are round. They roll. They roll and roll. They roll, Jimmy roll. They are Rollin', Rollin, Rollin on the river. They rock and rolled. I love rock and roll. Put another dime in the Jewish bagel.

100_3759.JPGSure enough one rolled under the basement beer fridge. Well, not really. The checker did roll under the fridge. It's not a beer fridge. I like beer. I like fridges because they contain the beer...and the food. This one was "donated" when my brother needed a place to store it. I thought about making it my main fridge, but my house is so old, they had "iceboxes", and it won't fit under the cabinets. I mean, look at the flooring! They haven't made that kind of linoleum tile since K-Mart closed all of their in store delis with their 2 for 3 dollar sub sandwiches stacked with luncheon linoleum loaf. On with the blog now....

100_3757.JPGHere it is. All set up. Loaded with checkers. Fake win as there are 5 black checkers across the bottom. Surely that would have been blocked unless you were playing your dog. Dogs don't know nuffin. They know where to poop and pee, and when it's time to eat. Sometimes the eat checkers and poop them out. Holy hell, there isn't much else to say on this blog. I'm at an end for silly crap to say. What can you say about this game? Simple.

100_3754.JPGSee, I took way more photos than I needed to take. I got the point across in the first two photos. You know what it is, you know how to play. The rules were printed on the lid. Simple. 2 Players needed. You can't have much fun with one. How do you outsmart yourself?

100_3758.JPGLookout! Earthquake! Oh MY GOSH! Run for your LIVES! The checkers are on the LOOSE! They won't linger as much as foam beads from a cheap laptop desk, but SAVE YOURSELF! It's gone SIDEWAYS! LOOK OUT! ONE OF THE CHECKERS HAS ROLLED UNDER THE NOT A BEER FRIDGE! Really, I don't store beer in this fridge.....

I drink it too fast......


Okay. I'm done. Junk Blog.