When hand held electronic games became all the rage, so did this kind of debris. Here's a game I played by myself an awful lot because I could. The scanner made noises that lead you to where the thief was located. The idea was you could earn clues and zoom in on the criminal before the rest playing the game. Of course, two players were ideal, but I was the only one crazy about board games when I was a kid. The rest of my "Fandamnily" didn't care, although when I got an Atari, my brother was very interested in that. One year, my black and white TV got blown out by lightning. I remember playing my Atari on a 5" portable television. Okay. Back to this.

A crime is being committed. Game night Saturday night. Dad with an 80's "Hudson Brothers/Doug Henning" moustache and his Stepford wife playing this game with a girl and a boy with clown make up on.  I'm sure these kids would rather be anywhere else, but when there's money for college or cocaine to be made posing for a picture on a Parker Brothers game that was really costly so most parents would pass it by.. To credit my 'rents, I wanted this crap UNTIL I got an Atari. When they got cheaper... From there, all I wanted was more fuel for my Atari. Video killed the board game stars.

Hey! Mr. Fat Hanz is showing the Electric Crime Scanner (tm)! A man built this! It's Electronic. One out of three ain't bad. Not for crime. Not A scanner. You can look on the webs and maybe the video toobs and see this and hear this. Actually it's pretty descriptive for being an electronic game thingy. You had the LED readout as well. Otherwise, this was the waste of money that was playing this game. It's exciting. Using this device, you could actually hear yourself riding the subway or shooting a heater. Yep. Hear the alarms. Yep. I'm really trying to embellish this one. It really wasn't a bad game. Really. 9V battery meant I never had batteries leak in this so, yes, it still works.

A Band Apart. It's a QT joint! This was exciting to me. Playing a tiny plastic gumshoe that didn't get chewed up by my dog Copey Dopes. I had an odd childhood. Maybe I'm telling you about this, I can just say it's "PA". Pre-Atari. This was excitement "PA". I could make these guys dance to the sounds produced by the ECS(tm). Or, I could make these guys into instant football players by setting them on my brother's vibrating football game. They weren't good runners wearing trench coats. They also shot everyone they tackled. They are carrying guns you know. Plus those hats were no match for... *deep breath* ITS EXCITING!

See this! We had make believe perps to pretend were running with our make believe scenario. Somewhere in the Brothers Parker game design department they must have had family friendly writers doing family friendly humor so the family could get together and take a family friendly photo for coke money. The "safe cracker" was named SAUL TEEN! *Haw Haw Haw* More important, criminals in this game always had deformities, like John Doe. He has Antlerhead! He was wearing his hat one day and antlers grew out of it. His teeth became Bugs Bunny sized.  Oh yeah, he's now a "Buck Passer", which I guess means counterfeiter? Let's not forget the guy that is a cat burglar actually LOOKS LIKE A CAT!! OMG! ITS EXCITING!!!! Never mind "The Brain" . He's a closet masturbator. Wear a glove when you handle his card.

You get to choose who you can be in this game? Is that in addition to selecting what color of plastic DICK will be walking across the board? WOW!  You mean I can play WONDER WOMAN? Wow! But the plastic color DICKS are all MEN! It's in the land of make believe. Remember, it's exciting. Wait! Carrie Badger is a double agent! I think she's married to the cat burglar. There's a movie in there. This is only a board game. Finally, my mom makes a cameo in this game. There is a picture of her in the 60's wearing funky odd colored glasses and having straight hair. I swear this detective was her. Or, this detective is Andy Warhol in lipstick...

The ECS(tm) would give steps on the read out of spaces that you could go and try and catch the thief. The orange spots are possible places to catch a guy with antlers out his head and then play a ring toss with Matt The Cat before he deejayed at WMMS in the 70's. That's all. That's it. How about some EXCITING bonus content!

Who knows why I save this debris in old game boxes. I understand why I save an article about Mad Magazine in the Mad Magazine game, but a McDonalds clipping in a depressing...er EXCITING game that I hadn't touched for years? Well, think about this. Where the hell else would I keep something like this? Somewhere where it's not going to be damaged, which would be somewhere I wouldn't look for five years. I started working at McD's when I was in high school, and well, I didn't have many places to go. I just wanted to get out of school, so I didn't have any plans for higher education. "What? PAY to torture yourself? F-That! I'm going to earn minimum wage and then be a big time muckity muck and go to Hamburger U and manage a McD's in a future dying mall and get a crew person pregnant." Gee, I wonder how they fit the extra fryer needed for the nuggets in this classic "Double Arch" store?

I didn't re-read the story, but I'm guessing this was the last "double arch" McDonalds in the Cleveland area and they were going to demolish it soon. Although it looks to be located in the parking lot of some shopping center, more than likely they moved to a bigger plot of land rather than "converting" this restaurant. I worked for one of the very first McD's, and it was a conversion store, that was with the lobby. You know what it is, with the yellow colored beams on the roof and the brown front. They were "conversions" because they wrapped a new building around the old one. The roof still tilted back. They added a hallway so that we wouldn't need to go outside to go down the steps to the basement. Complete rebuilds had the same design, but larger lobbies and double window drive thrus. It seems now, they do a complete rebuild on a McDonalds for their new design only if your store was a conversion.  The one I worked at made it until the early 90's  before it got torn down completely and rebuilt with that 90's glass and boxy look.

Okay. I know you're all ZZZZZZZZ. That guy looks like every 80's field reporter or politician here in Cleveland. City councilman Forbes incarnate. You're loving this aren't you Paige? "I don't have the money. Yah. You know one of these days you're gonna corner me and I'm going to KICK YOUR ASS. Keep F**KING WITH ME!"

Entertaining to ME. It's EXCITING! Alan Shore was pushed. -Ric