In my previous Junk Blog entry, I said that "Next Up, paper thin and roll up. It's coming." Well, for those of you that got your bowls and stash out and had your stoned excitement up to another 4:20 indulgence, chill further. I was talking about the future of television. When I talked about the past, wow. A new sub bub club TV channel we have deep on the free TV digiworld is the Heroes and Icons network. It's a "sister" of the METV subnet that shows old TV shows and brought back "One hour done pass, done watch two episodes of MASH." (Ice Cube, Skitch, Thanks.)  So this H&I channel has the rights to all 5 Star Trek series plus the cartoon! Booooooo! What's next, reruns of Gilligans Planet?

"Skipper! I've got an asteroid up my ass!"

"That's okay little buddy, we'll have Josie and the Pussycats in OUTER SPACE take it out."

"Awww, I was kind of hoping for The Far Out Space Nuts to help out, that Bob Denver is always...um...wait...Skipper, will we implode if one character takes an asteroid from the ass of another character played by the same person? What if Maynard from Dobie Gillis wants to get in on the asteroid ass getting?"

"No, don't worry little buddy. Nobody is going to take an asteroid from your ass. They have creams to help you. In the pharmacy aisle."

So, as I was saying, Star Trek: Voyager, the "doctor" was using what looked to be a HUGE laptop and they had IPHONES with Blackberry buttons. Even Next Gen was more advanced... Oh the Geekery. I know, what the F is the point of this blog entry? Oh right! Whirlpool. For all your Kenmore needs. In The 80's and 90's that is. Did you know Kenmore never made nothin? Bingo! It's a name stuck on stuff by a RETAILER! They did have some great tools under the Craftsman name, but we're talking a place to place your BUTTS. This is that place!

It's an ashtray. It's made from the metal they use to stamp products from. It's gen-u-wine Whirlpool. See, when I started at that radio station in Toledo,  they would have radio station sponsored "nights out".  One of their best, rowdiest nights was at a bar in Findlay, Ohio across from the Whirlpool manufacturing plant. Since my radio station had a good signal into town, we would had a night out where all from the radio station could pile into the radio stations van, wearing station swag, to represent in the far reaches of Findlay. Nevermind that previously I'd been turned down for a gig by the station I was working for, in a letter signed by my boss. That same boss eventually was desperate enough to hire me. I was also turned down at a station in Findlay. (If at first you don't succeed, puke all over the city that didn't hire you while working for the city that did.)

So, once at this bar, we were all treated to a shot of Yaaaaaaaaaagermeiiiiiiister. Now, I was sober at this point, and I made reference to the fact that I LOVED THE ASHTRAYS! They had them every five feet on the bar, plus at every table. I guess I kept saying that. Fixed on the fact that in a former career path "I sold a TON of Whirlpool dishwashers, they sold like hot cakes, They sold better than any brand we had. They are the BEST.  I want one of these ashtrays! HOLY HELL! WTF IS THIS COUGH MEDICINE I'VE JUST INGESTED? "

Of course, the shots kept coming, along with beers and well, that spelled out DOOM AND GLOOM for this radio fudd. Why didn't somebody tell me that this "new to me" liquid I was ingesting had very dark results. Thankfully, we had the plastic buckets filled with cement to put the radio station tent up. When coming back, they propped me up against one of them and I not so gladly gave back my evening's drinkings. We even stopped at a 24 hour wand wash place to "clean out" my artwork. It's all fun and games until someone pukes. Ahhh, I do remember it was more a celebration, because the newbie spewed. It's the way radio used to be, before it sucked.

So, I did remember that I made it home at some point. That I was in fact gifted a gen-u-wine made in America Whirlpool ash tray from the owner of the bar and I proceeded to speak of it on the morning show I produced.  I had to thank the generous, but more important, MEA CULPA to those that endured the ride back with yakky the yakmeister who made a "famous kids pizza" restaurant sorta smell. This thing I'll always have in my heart as a reminder never to drink Yaaaaaaaaagerrrrmeiiiister. It did become the favorite drink of a famous president when I did my lame "sounds like X doing Y doing this famous president" imitation during my college radio Gush Limbarge (fat guy imitating fat guy) radio show. I would have never known of this beverage and it's magic qualities to bring up whatever contents you may have had in your stomach if it wasn't for the rock and roll dishwasher plant workers in Findlay and the fun radio station "toss your cookies" game. Win no cash and a WHYOHTEE shirt.

-Ric