The hipster beer. Pabst. I would be the furthest thing from being a "hipster". It's your father's beer beverage, or, your grand fathers beer beverage. I don't think it's been that popular since the early 80's when everything got to be about smooth, crisp, refreshing. You know, like, the TV Commercials of the 80's taught ya. Everything you always wanted in a beer. Going for the gusto. Spuds McKenzie got more tail than your average pimple faced "Silver Spoons has a kid with a video game in his living room" teenager. It was the beverage we were told will get you drunk. It was BEER. Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie! I'm under aged.
Under aged indeed. Not much money. You think I'd be happy to down such "swill" long before it became hip to drink Pabst. No, we had one of the newest innovation beers to swill. The one with the "lined can". Keystone had just come to the area and that was the beer of choice. With my friend's fake ID and the fix in at a little quick mart, we had an endless supply of cheap ass beer beverage. We would have bonfires in my friend's back yard and a few months later, we had a guest join us unexpectedly bearing booze.
She had a tray of frozen bourbon slushes. Her husband worked overnight at the Ford plant and she would see us from her back yard seeming to laugh and have fun and whiz in the bushes that seemed to grow oh so huge. We welcomed her as one of the guys and we drank and had good times good times. All the time, Keystone or another beer beverage, Busch. We headed for the mountains. Then they came out with ICE beers and Keystone Ice followed. One bad batch spoiled all the fun. It tasted like Elsinore with mice in it. (Doug and Bob McKenzie. Skitch. Thanks.) We started buying Busch and that's the beer I stuck with for years and years. It's a wonder I have any taste buds left.
Our friendship grew with this bearer of bourbon slush and we met her husband who also liked a few beers to drink. My friend invited them to a celebration and that's where I learned that many auto workers drank a funky beer called Pabst. Why? It had flavor. I think this party is where I tried my first "Natty Light". I might have even had one of these "Pabsts". It was awful because it had a odd "not so smooth" flavor. Those were called HOPS and those HOPS made the beer taste a bit BITTER. The "beer of the auto worker" became a thing to me and my future radio things. I however, didn't drink the swill. I drank a smooth alcoholic beverage. Busch. Yum.
Since this is a blog about junk, I picked these up at a thrift shop like many things on this blog in my pursuit of finding a good digital camera. They are the key chain bottle openers that you may have to open several bottles of beverage but eventually the name on the key chain wears off and the bottle opener becomes worn out. So, why not buy a bag of 20 for 1.59 because they are for something you wouldn't drink in the bottles because they cost a buck more. We'll get back to that in a moment. I have a few more pics to show while I finish my auto worker beer story...
Years later when I started "working" in radio, I developed my "Daniel Pentastar" character as an auto worker for the Toledo Jeep plant on Willys Parkway. I based him very loosely on a co-worker and really funny radio host that I worked with, Jaz McKay. Daniel says "Yeaaaaahhhh Buddy....!" and talks about his job boltin bumpers at the Jeep plant, driving his modified Lingenfelter (what G. Gordon Liddy was always speaking of) V10 Ram Truck (which was always in the shop) or bopping around his back yard in his Willys CJ7. He also talked about his favorite beer Pabst Blue Ribbon because it was the beer of the auto worker. Of course, my radio life had ended, Louisville became my recovery point, and when I started earning some cake, I discovered all things liquor, and then took a liking to coffee and then my adult tastes took me to a microbrew, The Cumberland Brewery, and that was that. I fell into a world of flavor and the bitter the better was the mantra when drinking beer. Pale Ales, IPAs, Double IPAs, Porters and Stouts became manna from heaven.
Ahhh, but those cost a lot of money. When I was at home, I wanted something cheap to drink in between guzzling the good suds. Hence, I started drinking Pabst because of that little bit of bitter from the hops. That was all. Sure I had other cheapies, but Pabst seemed to be the beverage I would always return too. It was cheap. It's always cheap. But, it's been growing every year since the early 00's and took on the "hipster beer" reputation. I don't care. My preferred type is the 24oz King Can that I get in a 12 pack from Pitt for 13.99. Thanks to Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel's Man Show bringing us Bill "The Fox" Foster and his chant Ziggy Zocky Ziggy Zocky Hoy Hoy Hoy when he downed a beer... I call the 24oz servings of Pabst "Ziggy Zockys". (Yes I know I'm not spelling in correctly. So what.)
Enter the CBS eye. It winks at you. It opens and closes like a camera lens on the ending of Twilight Zone eps they show on MeTV,. Heh. It's a bottle opener forged in the USA by the Sears Craftsman tool company. Likely one of the few tools made in the USA by a failing company. Oh don't worry, Craftsman will be a brand they sell off along with DieHard batteries. They already have DieHard televisions...and K-Mart owns the Curtis Mathes brand... What a bunch of sheis.
Well cuz.... I have a ton of Pabst bottle openers now. I never buy Pabst in bottles. I do buy other beers in the bottle and I open said bottles with the mighty Craftsman bottle opener. It's big and heavy and opens bottles like every other bottle opener. It will likely last for years and years, but it's not that portable that you can place it on your key chain like a 94.5 WXKR chain with the worn out lettering and the bottle opener that skips six or seven times before it finally opens your bottle. Eh. Drink at home or drink from a can. There's lots and lots of craft beers in a can these days as they get more popular. Cheaper and more places than glass.
Addams Family. The thinking man's Munsters. Get the DVD's today at a 'Zon near you. :) -Ric
NEXT DAY UPDATE: I wrote this blog 1/5. On 1/6 I found out that ideed, Sears is parting with the Craftsman name. They'll still have the crap to sell, but Black and Decker is going *GULP*. Craftsman Dustbusters! YAY!