Results tagged “Cedar Point”

Rolley Coaster Mutt

100_4384.JPG"HI! *pant* *Pant*. Lookit what I GOT! *pant* It's a FAKE FLYING DISC. *pant* *pant* You can THROW IT TO ME if I let YOU, and I will DO THAT because it's FUN. *pant* But I will maybe catch it OR MAYBE I WILL NOT! *pant* *pant. MAYBE I will be all like YOU FETCH IT, I AM TOO BUSY!  I have ANOTHER TOY which I have now but you can THROW IT TO ME if I let you! *pant* Who is FETCHING for WHO? *pant *pant. When is food? Give me food. I want FOOD. Will there be FOOOD soon? *lick* OH NO I DROPPED IT and you THREW IT! GOTTA GO GO CATCH......."


Ugh.  Wait, I thought you were going to focus on what the cheap stuffed toy with a famous rolly coaster park advertisement was thinking and saying? I thought this post was going to be a fun whimsical look in the lives of stuffed dogs! I thought this junk blog was about why an idiot like me has them laying all around his house because they all have some special meaning?  Now you show us what looks to be a famous doggie party hat? What did you used to play PHOTON In this hat? (Yes a callback to an earlier post on this blog.) Get on with it!

100_4387.JPG"HI! *pant* *pant* I've GOT the toy! It's MY toy! Now if you want to THROW my toy, you'll have to TAKE IT FROM ME and you can do that by FOOD. Gimmie FOOD. No, wait *pant* *pant* Why do I have this STRANGE PIECE OF S*IT sitting ON TOP OF ME? *Pant* OH YES! You got it from the DOLLAR STORE where everything smells like PLASTIC FOOD *pant pant* Even the WATER smalls like PLASTIC! *pant* I want WATER! Oh yeah. GIVE ME WATER in this thing on my HEAD! No DONT! I dropped my TOY. I will chase it after I have a a nice DOGGY MARTINI, shaken not stirred you ASSWIPE!"

100_4383.JPGCedar Point. Every Clevelander had Cedar Point to brag about when we had nothing else. The river caught fire in the 70's but come to Cleveland because we have CEDAR POINT. Actually, we had Geauga Lake and Sea World in the summer. Did they keep those big whales in small tanks when it was 1978's Blizzard here in the East? Think of the cruelty! Nah, lets think what any disco era swinger was thinking in 1978.... Got any COKE? Let's go have lots of SEX in the back of my rusty Vega!

Now, you think of Cleveland, it's the RNR Fame thingy, that food guy, oh yeah the 2016 World Champ Cavs And 2016 American League Champ Injuns and 2016 Calder Cup Minor League Hockey winners the MONSTIRZ, most of you think "Rock Hall" and Cedar Point: The Amazement Money Suck.

I started going with a batch of co-workers from McDonalds. They liked the sky ride, gondolas that rode across the park on a steel cable, because it was the only place you could get really really high in private while being really really high. It was a giant carnival when I started going which had just added the most unexciting ride and my first "coaster" .  "Toboggan Run. " It was as advertised. A huge car that took you down a large track through various turns and was thrilling if you were 7 years old. Then we went on a real challenge. "The Corkscrew". That one gave me nerves, but after I flipped upside down and twisted and didn't throw up, I was good. Bring on that burlap sack you sat on while going down that big slide! I saw it on the Banana Splits and I always wanted to do that. Hey, maybe I'll fall flat on my face trying to run up the slide. Now that's a thrill! 

It changed after that. Now they began a "war" to add the latest and greatest rolly coaster dealies and well, because "Americas Roller Coast" or what have you. I went back several times but as I got "serious" about my crappy gigs and then found radio and didn't have time and then moved away and came back...and added a few pounds... lemmie repeat I won't...

A few years back, one of my good friends started telling me about how he was a member of "American Coaster Enthusiasts" and knew a lot of details on who made said coaster, what "cars" said coaster used and in other words, a coaster geek. We went to said POINT and  Busch Gardens in Tampa where I was more interested in the YUENGLING plant just a stones throw away.  So I became a coaster geek by extension was hooked on coasters again. That year, I got a seasons pass to all the parks associated with Cedar Point which meant I could go to Cleveland's GEAUGA LAKE virtually every day because it was on the way to work my third shift gig. Perfect. Seasons Pass, free parking, free rides, a few hours, grab some Subway for dinner, go to work. Thrilling summer. Geauga Lake closed after that year. (BITCH)

100_4388.JPGIn the every changing winds for the "Roller Coast", for many years they had a "challenge park" where after you left the park and were walking to your on site hotel, they could challenge you to part with more of your money on go-karts or a big bungee jump or some other crap. They also had an 80's "Arcade" which was a shadow of it's 80's self. Inside they had a claw machine and it was filled with the above. I professed that I was good at these said machines, especially the ones that aren't "rigged so good." (Yes, every claw machine you see has settings for how much OOMPH is on the claw. You can't pick up a brick with a plastic spork unless KFC has deemed you to get the LYSLAW on the buffet. Then if it's not cemented in with every other less than $5 piece of crap, you'll WIN after you spent $10. YAY!)

However these machines didn't have any tricky stuff, everyone with any aiming skill was a WINNNNEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" I guessed these were last years toys and they needed to get rid of them. I got one right away, my friend got one on his first try. Instinct was to clean the machine out and sell these on FLEA BAY, but these didn't fall out of riders pockets only to get a phone call from the person who bought your "lost"  phone asking for the key to unlock it. (Yes, on another trip, this happened to my friend..)

Oh, and the Snoopy thing on top of the claw machine "memory" is a dog dish. You pour water in it when you're on the hiking trail and then fold it up when your pooch isn't drinking. It was purchased from a dollar store near you, then when I took it out of the bag and realized I'd just spent a dollar on nothing, I thought it looked like a party hat for canines. LEGION!  I got the base! Oh that F-IN Predator scored off of me while I was laying there in leg cramp pain! SCORBOCHECK wins the game during the $10 all you can play from 9 to noon on Sundays. OOOPS! Friday night at 11... Time to go to the Avante Garde show! Lets get into character! Dennys aftershow. "No NO Ya Spatula Head!" JANDEK IS GOD! Morey Amsterdam sandwiches all around. DECADENCE for DESSERT! Hey, lets tip the pregnant waitress ALL YOU HAVE IN YOUR POCKET!  *whew* Well thank you 1987.  


100_3961.JPGAhhh, the Villain. It was a roller coaster of unquestioned roughness but a hell of a ride nonetheless. I only knew it, my steel/wood hybrid friend, for a short time. A summer. Then, it was torn down and laid waste by a bigger source. We'll get to that fact in a moment.

I had only been to Geauga Lake once in my whole life. There were countless commercials for it through the years including ones with "Geauga Dog", the parks fursuited mascot. I went the year they opened a coaster called "Raging Wolf Bobs" and rode it a few times. I hadn't ridden very may coasters at that point, so I didn't know how fun it was. Whenever a wooden roller coaster is new, it's pretty fast because they haven't dumbed it down to make the ride smoother. I went for a company picnic from believe it or not, McDonalds. The previous year it was Sea World which was across the tiny lake Geauga. Only 1/4 the fun. At this party, we had a ton of free food and shhhhhhh...all the beer we could swill. Nobody carding the kids. We took a rented bus there anyway. 

My only opinion of the park was just what I've heard. Rumors were spot on. It seemed like a vomitorium. It was grubby. Landscaping was nice and all, but it seemed like every surface hadn't been cleaned in years. The building where our party was held was the cleanest place in the park.

So, for years after, I only went to Cedar Point in Sandusky. If I was going to spend a day at the park, might as well have a real park and a clean park.  My first "coaster" was a toboggan coaster that was slow as a kids ride. Then I got on the "Corkscrew" and went upside down and I was all in. Then, I fell out of going to thrill parks and lost interest. I didn't want to fly or ride a coaster. More of a chance of getting wiped out driving a car, I know, but ... Heh.

100_3962.JPGHerbie Bearclaw got me out of my drought. He invited me down to appear on the Sunday Pawpet show. (Every Sunday at 6PM EST on the intrawebs near you. ) My Radiolawn show used to air before it, so I figured I could go on live with video included. While I was down dey, Herbie took me the Busch Gardens in Tampa. Two free beers while I rode roller coasters? Start puking. What was ignited in me was a love for all things coaster. Plus, when I went up on one of the coasters at the back of the park, I could see Yuengling Tampa :) I had to get back for the tour, and oh yes, I'd ride the coasters again. (Herbie is a member of ACE and rides the coasters all over the states. It just so happened I had Cedar Point, Geauga Lake and Kings Island in my state. He'd be back.)

So, when the opening days came to the season, I spent my bucks on a season pass to all the Cedar Fair parks. I could park free and ride all day for one investment. I went to Geauga Lake and bought the pass and told the person who sold it too me that I would be using it mostly at the point. Yes, but since I was getting into coasters, I tried what was left at Geauga Lake.

Geauga Lake had cleaned up it's act when it was sold to Six Flags. It became "Worlds Of Adventure" and they combined what was once Sea World into a massive play place. Since they were the competition with the point, they went on a building spree and soon had some world class roller coasters. I don't know if all that $$$ spent really could keep up with Geauga Lake's soiled reputation and five years later they sold the whole sheebang guessed it, Cedar Fair.

Renaming all the rides to which they didn't have the rights (DC comics), Cedar Fair gave it a go. I'll argue they never had any intention of keeping it running. Cedar Point is where the money was made. Again, it was attendance, Most people come to Ohio to go to Sandusky or Cincinnati. Mmmm, but Geauga Lake had lots of land and fancy roller coasters to pillage. By the time I was there, they had lost two coasters as they were sent to other Cedar Fair parks. I had no lay flat coaster, that was moved to the King and had too much of a wait when I went there with my pass. The other went to some other park, a out-and back spiral inverted launch blah blah blah. There's one at Cedar point with spirals on both ends, the only one in the country to do so. It's one of my favorite rides.

100_3964.JPGGot a six shooter on my drink glass pardner. Don't move while I swill this whiskey or I'll put a BB in your bonnet. Ahhhh yes, the summer of 2007. You see, Geauga Lake was a hop skip and a jump off the freeway from where I worked. That year, I was working overnights, beginning my shift at 9:30. Geauga Lake would close at 9PM Monday thru Thurday, so it became a regular trip at least one a week, sometimes three times a week, when I would drive to the park, ride roller coasters for a few hours, leave, get food and then go to work. For that summer, I couldn't wait to go to work. If I went an hour earlier, I could get more rides on my favorite coaster, a B&M floorless coaster called the Dominator. I believe I rode that coaster 150+ times or so.

The Villain, was another story, but I rode it every time I was there as it was never very busy. It was rough as hell. The now out of business coaster designer Custom Coasters International would make hybrid coasters, wood track and steel structure. They would be fine for two or three years, but after awhile the trains would chew up the track making them incredibly rough which would then make the coasters less exciting as the park "toned down" the ride to make it less teeth jarring. Sometimes however, they let it fly and it was terribly fun getting banged around. Hence, this is a fading the Arrow steel coasters (another company that went belly up) they are decreasing in number each year.

Meanwhile, after my summer of good times good times, about 5 visits to the Point and one to the Island, there were rumors that Cedar Fair would close Geauga Lake at the end of the season and keep the water park (former Sea World) open. I did see the CEO of Cedar Fair on the next to the last day Geauga Lake was open, it was Octoberfest and he was walking around with a group of guys in suits, talking to the patrons, it seemed encouraging.

A few days later, it was announced that we all had ridden our last rides ever at the lake. It sucked. I'd still have a yearly Cedar Fair membership if Geauga Lake was still around. No, the CEO's name was Dick. That's what anybody who enjoyed Geauga Lake was after than year. Dicked.

100_3960.JPGA darker image. A sadder thought. When the water park opened sans the amusement park, I just went to the gift shop that was there. Yes, I did get another season pass, long story (there would be several trips to Cedar Point that year, I couldn't stay away because I had the coaster bug.) At the gift shop, they had a ton of old stuff from the park so I bought a few things and one was this shot glass. There were a few other things including a Charlie Brown and Snoopy fridge magnet overlooking a night time Geauga Lake....when it still had EVERY roller coaster including the two that were removed before the final season. If anything, seeing just the head of Geauga Dog, filthy and on sale for $450....was worth the price of admission.  So, this may be junk, but it's also a memory of a coaster I had the chance to enjoy and then see pictures of it's destruction as it was sold for $2500 for scrap.

Bummer. Junk Blog. -Ric

P.S. Yes this post was pretty much an expanded retelling of:

I don't care. I still miss the place.

Futures So Bright

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100_3193.JPGIn the 80's, everybody who didn't have any money wore shades purchased from flea markets. Man, if there is a real piece of junk that can be thrown away, it's this. You can't wear them anymore because the lenses are scratched to oblivion, but I save a few for the reason that there is some memories to these, pitiful as they are.

100_3196.JPGThere's the BLOGGERS friend, Mr. FatHanz. This is the only pair I have in my junk collection that was junk before it became junk. I believe this was a flea market find. Why would I buy these? Did I think they would look good? Did I want to get into the "Mr. Roboto" eyeglasses theme. I only took this angle to show you the huge spring on the side to prove that yes, they are spring retracted. I suppose these would be handy to carry around note cards or play that identify yourself game.

100_3195.JPGSort of look like John Lennon glasses if he fell asleep on a IBM Selectric. I never wore these as they look ridiculous.  "Did you get a free bowl of soup with those eyeglasses?" I guess I kept them to remind myself to think before I buy eye wear.

100_3194.JPGThese I actually have fond memories of. They are probably the longest lived of my sunglasses. For two years I believe, these glasses bought at a sunglasses shop in Ft. Lauderdale showed the world that I was a major DWEEB. However, I was a DWEEB with musical tastes. I thought the sunglasses gave me a real "Kneedeep In The Hoopla Is The SH*T" look. I was a hot rocking corporate Miami Vice sort of , man we wore some crap back in the awful pink and aqua days of the 80's. I think I have a few pictures with me wearing these and even had my first trip to Cedar Point with them. Did you know the safest place to "spark up" at CP back then was on the sky ride? It seemed to be the McDonald's crew consensus, I didn't touch the stuff. That's right. I write this blog. I love the Grateful Dead. *snicker* Moving on.

100_3197.JPGThese I got a little later but they are just as meaningful to my junk collection. The 80's bled into the 90's and they came out with these plastic framed glasses that could have a logo affixed. For a year or two, it seemed everybody had a pair or six of these beauties. Mine were from the feature appearances of a stripper that went by Sony Tape. She could shake shake shake her body and she sold these for only $10 when you spent $50 or more on a private dance. Boy she could get the chub from your hub.

I cannot blog a lie. When I worked at Tokyo Shapiro, we would occasionally get close outs from tape manufacturers. Of course, I got it a little cheaper working for the company. That was my perk. 75 cents off. Wheeeee. Well, we got a TON of these Sony chrome tape packs with a "free" set of cheesy sunglasses. Doing radio shows, I needed a steady supply of tape so I could air check what I was doing to know how crappy I was.   So, I must have bought about 15 of these. There was Orange and Blue, and Yellow.  Had to be neon puke. Once a pair got all scratched up, which was three months or less being the cheapest grade of plastic, I'd wear another set. Doof. Doof. Oh well. I still love me some cheap eye wear, but pretty soon, it'll be to help me read the small print on a burrito wrapper. Contains 72% finely textured beef product. Do not microwave in wrapper. "Enjoy your diarrhoea." (Thanks Red Fang. )

ARF! -Ricochet

Geauga Dog Pitcher

100_2925.JPGIt's a pitcher. It's a storage bin. It's meant for beer beverage but came loaded with burgers and fries. It's from a park that was on borrowed time. If you're from Cleveland, you surely know of Cedar Point. Cedar Point is in Sandusky, Oh. It'a about an hour from Cleveland. Of course, ask anybody from Cleveland and they will say It's Cleveland's amusement park. Now, if you lived in Toledo, it's your park. The rest of Ohio? King's Island.

Even myself, I didn't know much about Geauga Lake. I'd only been there once. It was for a work party, and we had beer beverage even though most of us were too young to drink. It was the year after they had opened the "Raging Wolf Bobs" wooden coaster. I think the year before, the party was held at Sea World Cleveland which was across from the actual Geauga Lake (a real lake!)

I guess back then, the place wasn't known for being a tidy amusement park. It was sort of old and run down.  Still, it served the locals and every summer they had a slew of commercials. When they added the water park and had one of the first giant wave pools, they really pressed. It sounded like a toilet to me. The wave would swoop over and you'd piss yourself. Lot's of fun to be had. Wear shower shoes.


Ahhh, but you see Snoopy... He wasn't Geauga Lakes' mascot "Geauga Dog". That was a fursuited character. I did see his molded/furred head for sale in the gift shop for $450 when they were selling off all the remnants of the amusement park. More on that in a moment.

The park was bought by the Six Flags corporation several years ago. They decided to pump a bunch of money into Geauga Lake and make it an exciting place to spend a day without driving that hour to Sandusky. They added several rides and major state of the art roller coasters. There was one you hung from a chariot seat to ride, one where you sat four across and had no floor. There was a new hybrid wood/steel coaster that hauled ass and gave you a fly from your seat feeling. They added a coaster that shat you from one side, went through a loop and then you went backwards the same way. They added another "shatting" coaster that sent you up a spiral and backwards up a straightaway and rocked you back and fourth several times. Then they added a coaster where you flew like Superman.

WOW! That meant, with the addition of a kiddie coaster, Geauga Lake was now an 9 coaster thrill park called "Worlds Of Adventure". Plus they had several "flat" carnival rides and then they bought Sea World and put a all new water park on the other side. Six Flags really made a go of it.  They were the major attraction all up and down the super slab. Ohio had three MAJOR parks. Holy Pirogi's, it didn't work!


I wasn't a amusement park goer at all. I would have loved to experience the Six Flags era. It must have been great, or at least less grubby than it had been. Maybe they actually had someone roaming the park scraping bubble gum and grease and vomit from the concrete. Yeah, Six Flags did too much, too fast. As well as some of their other properties, Cleveland was not making that much money. Other than American Coaster Enthusiasts, I don't know that anybody flew to Cleveland to go to Geauga Lake rather than to Cedar Point.

So, Six Flags sold the whole sheebang to..... wait for it... CEDAR POINT! *dun dun dun* Hmmmm, it really wasn't a winner but it took away the competition and got some really new coasters that they could use at their other Cedar Fair parks. That's GREAT. We want the park! We will keep it open! Whoops, two years went by and gee wouldn't this coaster be much better in that park?

Herbie Bearclaw (Mutt from the Sunday Funday Pawpet Show) is a huge fan of the coasters and his enthusiasm led me to get a season pass for the Cedar Fair parks in 2007. Of course, they had removed their impulse spiral thingy and their fly like Superhost thingy, closed the former smaller  water park (which went to green algae we'd see when riding other rides) and never ran the broken down space needle tall landmark thingy. I even told the gal that signed me up for a season pass that I'd be using it mostly at Cedar Point. (Season pass works at all the Cedar Fair parks.)

But then, I went inside and rode the rides.  I was working overnight and the park was a short detour from where I worked. Therefore, I'd leave my house by about 6:30, ride the rides for a few hours, get dinner and work all night. The best ride was the floorless "Dominator". It really made you feel like you were flying several times. I think I had 156 rides total on it. (Yes I counted.) When September came, the last weekend was "Octoberfest". I enjoyed it, but the rumors were flying and then, it was gone.


If you do look on the web, you'll find all sorts of stuff about the closing and pictures of it's condition now. While I was going there, it was really well kept. Like Cedar Point. Geauga Lake also had a small "resort hotel" that was most likely a former Holiday Inn with a indoor "Holidome". It had a really nice enclosed pool area and they had a few restaurants and a gift shop. I stopped in only once to see it and get some grub. That's where I got the above. "Geauga Lake and Wildwater Kingdom" plastic pitcher with lid. It came with 5 "slider" burgers on top of some fries. It was pretty good with a cold beer BURP beverage.

The next year, I had purchased another season pass, but this time I bought it at Cedar Point. I decided I'd go back to check out "Wildwater Kingdom" which was the part of the park Cedar Point decided to leave in business. I got this bag from the gift shop that was loaded with debris from Geauga Lake. I bought a magnet with Woodstock and Snoopy with their backs to us looking at an evening picture of all the rides that existed from the years before 2007. Crap like that. I'm sure they likely still have some of that stuff all these years later.

I use this piece of junk to house a few other pieces of junk. It has SNOOPY on it. It can't be junk! Speaking of places that don't exist anymore...

100_2930.JPGYou just don't find anything more worthy of the title "junk" until you see that I save plastic bags! I'm no hoarder. Really. Everybody saves plastic bags and kazoos and fake cigars right? RIGHT? It's an ALCO bag. When I first found ALCO, they were a small "WallyKmarTargay" like store that was open in Vermilion, Ohio. They were a small company, but they were making a profit each year. Not a ton of profit, but a profit. I think they only had 5 stores in Ohio, most in Northwest  Ohio near the Indiana border.  Vermilion was the company's northernmost store and it was a good hour from the next outlet. They made money on it? According to the internal awards about sales numbers on their walls that went to the bathrooms, they were in the top third of the company stores. Makes sense, the nearest KWalTar was at least a half hour away.

I liked the store, and would visit every few months. I didn't buy much, but I liked the fact that it was in a former Fishers Big Wheel. A former chain from the 80's when Zayre and Gold Circle were still around and one that was in my then hometown of Avon Lake.  I even bought their generic ALCO pops a few times.  Unfortunately, the owners sold the company to an investment firm. That meant the good ship ALCO wasn't long for the world and sure enough, three years later, a 103 year old company was no more. What a BAG! Low prices, EVERY DAY!

100_2931.JPGTwo other bits of junk are in the Geauga Lake beer pitcher and dust catcher. Some darts and decorative marbles. Don't I throw ANYTHING out? You should see my stacks of old entertainment news rags and Guitar Center catalogs.

100_2932.JPGI bought these darts from a dollar store. I don't have a dart board. Well, I do, but it's for the kind that have magnets at the end. My brother played darts and was in a dart league. They were a dollar. The feel like they might be pro darts, but I don't know. Hmmm, think these will go in the trash. Nahh, they are in my Geauga Lake Snoopy Beer Kooozie and porta potty. Better not poo when these darts are in there. If I #1, just make sure I'm not bombed and fall on top...okay I'll move on...

100_2933.JPGCome on! While we're YOUNG! Decorative marble glass.  Close up taken with a Schneider-Kreuznach lensed Kodak cam. There are a few tasteless and even bad jokes I could make up about these, but, the hell with it. More junk I'm never even going to use. Besides, I was looking for a blue one. :)

ARF! -Ric