Results tagged “Cleveland Cavaliers”

Everybody's Got One In Their Basement

100_4350.JPGSelf: "Self? I think I need to get a treadmill."

Inner Self: "You just need to diet fat ass. Stop drinking beer beverage. "

Self: "Give up BEER? No No Devo!"

Inner Self: "Well then, why not exercise more than sitting your doompas in front of a monitor."

Self: "I could... It's winter so walking isn't the best unless I join the mall walkers club at a participating dead mall..."

Inner Self: "Gosh, you are a fat blubber whale of a fatbody Private Pyle."

Self: "I know! I'll get a treadmill. I know I'll use it more than 20 times until setting it in the corner of the basement to collect dust. "

Inner Self: "In 10 years or so, it will make a great junk blog post. Go fourth and mortgage that 24 pack!"

100_4356.JPGA man built this! It's a treadmill! I went to the local SEARS (yes, Sears, because Dicks Sporting Goods was $2746 more and Wally had an even cheaper treadmill that seemed like it would be adequate, but not, at least, lasting.)  So, my brother and I went and picked up this sucker and I set it up in a portion of my apartment and I was off to the races. *stumble* *fall* *crashes into a mirror* *breaks a shelf* *hurts foot* *hurts wrist* Maybe I should have been wearing a bicycle helmet while I was striding to no place on this fine machine.  You see, I had lost a LOT of weight, and the key to it was diet, exercise, and giving up beer beverage. I was dry for a hundred days or so and walked about 2 miles. Every day. But, with every diet, there comes the slow pace of gaining everything back. I wasn't horrible, but I'd gained 20 back and it was nearing winter, so what a solution. Join a gym or bring the gym home.  It was a compact unit and I would wheel it out in front of my TV and walk three miles a day.

100_4352.JPGWeslo brand. Cadence 70e. Big deal. At least it does look like it got some use. It did get the use. Through the winter I attempted to use this every day for that at least one mile, but usually two or three. I didn't run on this, because, well, why run? Walking is low impact and I usually do it every day. It's usually when I go to stores or malls. I park in the very back spot away from ijits that open their car doors without a care and dent my doors. Everybody does it.  Who cares. Cars are cheap now. Let the doors fly! *grumble* You know, I had a cheap Chundai vehicle that I traded in a few years ago. I was so proud that the doors and the body of the car had NO DENTS AT ALL...except one from somebody where I worked, right after I'd bought the car, and well, they were not patient enough to open their door slowly. Unfortunately, I parked out of reach of the security cams. If the alt parking lot wasn't being paved...

100_4351.JPGSo it was a extra clean car that I was proud of. I traded it in. Two days later I went back in my new Hyduki and I saw that someone had dented the door with a big pock while my car was awaiting the old loan to clear. A few days later, I went back and my car was on the used car lot and both dents were GONE! It appears they have advanced body work so that they digitally match the color of the paint and with space age fillers, made it look like it never happened. Only the previous owner could have seen where the repairs were made. I wonder if they will last... My previous hoopty a Nissan Sentra was pre dinged when I got it and after a few years at my job, it was like a Chinese checkers board it had so many dents. Ahhh, but when you have a car you care about, the 500 steps into a building is nothing. However someone ALWAYS parks next to me. At least they should be as careful as me. Sure. Superspot is what I call them. If there is a median with a tree, look for me, walking in 100 degree heat.

100_4357.JPGI remember what my brother said when we picked this up. "It's going to end up as a plant stand like thousands of others." I was out to prove him wrong. Like I said, it was six months or so of intense use, but little loss. Why? I loved me some beer beverage. Look at the underside of this majestic workhorse. It's a two AA battery affair. Yes, I'm sure this is the ruin of many of these machines. You put the batteries in it, use it for a bit, then let it collect dust while your batteries expire and ruin the whole thing. Yes, I took mine out. I moved to a house rather than an apartment and thought I'd be using this every day in my basement work out room. *spits Pabst everywhere* I will say that at least I took the batteries out. OH GOOD FOR YOU!

100_4353.JPG...and there it sits. I tried using it again as my pounds started slowly accruing like an Atari 2600 game of Pac Man. I wrenched my jaw and went "bing bing bing" and munched the square power pill while the ghosts really blinked and blinked and blinked.. I did have to adjust the belt a bit to make sure it works and got some real exercise in, but, well, I could sell this but this piece of junk would mean failure. I did give up the beer beverage for one month last year but um...the Cavaliers were in the excuse..but the truth, I lost 10 pounds on the no beer diet. I've kept it off. Wanna lose more? No beer for you. I placed this shirt over the treadmill to cover it up and well, this post may just energize me again to go and start walking and give up that which keeps "Leon is getting LAAARRRGER" (Skitch. Airplane. Thanks.)  -Ric

P.S. You know, one could say my annoying (Skitch. Thanks.) is nothing more than a baffling part of the "junk blog mythos." (Way too much credit.) No, it really does have a twisted meaning. Want to hear it? Here it go.

I was well schooled in David Letterman's 1986 season of Late Night. Comedian Carol Leifer did a bit with Dave at his desk and said a joke to which Paul Shaffer played a "BOMP" to "punch" it. That made Carole look over at Paul Shaffer and say "Skitch.... Thanks...." David Letterman got a huge laugh out of that. I had no idea what it was, but I thought it was a funny way to reference when someone else helps punch your joke to make it funnier. Turns out, she was referencing Skitch Henderson who was Jack Paar's Tonight Show band leader and was at the beginning of Carson's  career on the show. Hence, why David laughed so hard at something baffling to my pre-internet mind. That is all.

Christmas Junk #15 - Fake Kanky Canes

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100_3875.JPGI just noticed it. How much would these canes cost if you bought then at a participating TJMaxx along with your leaky coffee maker and slightly irregular sheets with the stitches missing. The green marker has gotten old enough to reveal. Awww, what do I care. These were gifted to me as two sets combined. Half and half. Half Injuns and Half Brownies. Since I don't put candy canes on my tree, these make a good substitution and take up some unadorned branches on the tree. Hence the brand name "Forever". Wow. See, they can last forever, so, they are "Forever". See. Thank you Mr. Obvious.

 100_3879.JPG They look very tasty. I wonder what officially licensed NFL canes taste like? Failure? Misery? Foam? Likely the latter. Yes, as our Cleveland Browns go down with the worst season as long as I've been watching, I still hang these canes with pride as they weigh down each branch in hopes that a victory, any victory, in more than a year, can come to the city of champeens. Minor League Hockey? Check. 2016 NBA CHAMPION CAVALIERS? Check. Yeah, I parrot that a little too much.

100_3880.JPGSee, we had our Injuns go all the way this year. Extra innings in the 7th game of the big show. All that really meant when we lost the big one is that I got some extended listening to Tom Hamilton, who is the best baseball guy ever! Gee, that's just like your baseball play by play guy. Everybody's play by play guy is the best play by play guy to them. Hammy is the best! Come On! Hammy is is nickname. Hammy! He's not Harry Steak or Jerry Fish or Larry Assmuccio...

In Lebron We Trust. I have always been a fan of the Browns. I'm even wearing their sweatshirt as I type this in anticipation of a Saturday loss. Go team! The Injuns I kind of became a fan of when I could at least hear every game, so I'm a late comer. 2002 or so. When we were jamming in the mid 90's, I was all about building a radio thing so blah blah blah. So, I got Injuns and Browns candy canes to hang on the tree. Which one do you think is going to keep being champeens? Come on CAVS, you can make it happen!

DISCLAIMER: If you're from somewhere else, you don't care. There's a whole lot more junk to see here in past posts. Just had to do a little home team Christmas blah blah blah. Merry Christmas to all and to all GOOD BOOZE! (Skitch! Mike O' Meara Podcast! Thanks.)


Junk Cameras Two (ONE YEAR OF JUNK!)

DSCI0526.JPGBack in the box of misfit cameras. I will say CLEVELAND CAVALIERS 2016 NBA CHAMPIONS!!!!!!  That is all.. Man it feels good to say we finally won the sausage. Meanwhile, here are a few more of the cameras in my junk camera collection. Remember, not all of these were junk in their day, but compared to the cameras that I have collected that at least take "acceptable" "useful  NOW" images, these deserve "junk" status. In this batch, we visit those oddball cams.

100_3516.JPG????  ???? ??? ?????

I likely bought this one because it takes 2 "AA" batteries and a SD card. It's a "Digital Concepts" 2.1 Mpx camera and has a standard USB port.  I don't even know if I thought the pictures that came from this camera were worth anything. I don't even know if it worked. People bought these likely in those hard to open peg hook packs at Wally.

100_3517.JPGYes, that's right. No display. Obviously, done for cheap. Even kiddie cams have a display. This one just shows the mode and counts the pictures. It does have a view finder, being that's all you can use. It also has a flash, which makes it a bit better. I think it took dull, pasty, out of focus pictures. You can do a search on the 'Zon if you want too. There are several cams made by Sakar that line up with this one. Tried it, put it in the junk box.

IM000252.JPGPolaroid PDC640 640x480 4 "AA" Smart Media

I don't know what the hell the pictures were taken of this camera with, but whatever. This was a rare find in the box of what appears to be a "classic". Believe it or not, Polaroid actually put out a few cameras at the start of digicam madness that were pretty decent. It had two things against it for being in my currents cameras collection. It takes "Smart Media", so that makes it obsolete right there. It also needs 4 AA batteries. Okay. Done.

IM000256.JPGI strive to have the best quality pics for this blog. *cough* Gee, couldn't Mr. Fat Hanz(TM) hold the box the right way so we could see all that makes this camera tick? There is not a whole lot of info on this cam, other that a lot of links to see it in "history" blogs. It does have pretty good picture taking ability and one of the bogs I looked at said the macro pictures that he took with this won him some awards. Reason why I couldn't pass it up? It came with 4!!! Smart Cards. If I were the profiting type, just selling one for $5 would make back the price I paid. Of course, the other reason is in the picture above. The "Marcs 99.99" price tag. Marcs is a local chain here in 2016 NBA CHAMPION CLEVELAND CAVALIERS home town that sells a lot of close out crap. Likely they bought a good number of these when people would still pay a hunny for a less than 1MPX camera.

IMAGE002.JPGThere's a picture snapped with it when it was first tested. It was even enlarged a bit to fit with the standard pictures on this blog. Actually, pretty good pic don't cha' think? I suppose this would have been used a lot and likely undercut some of the other cameras of it's day. I've learned that name brands can be deceiving, likely because the manufactures of these cameras didn't design from the ground up. Polaroid was still a thing in 1999 so most likely, they tried to do a great job making this baby. They even came out with a version that had a modem! You could send the photo from the camera itself! Gee whiz, isn't technology great?  Yes, it took good macro photos as well, but I won't bore you with the results.

100_3524.JPGDigiclic 5.0 3 "AAA" SD  "Promotional Camera"

I found this one nearly complete in a thrift store complete with it's generic box and all the cables. In fact, it looks like it was never used. I found out by some web research that this camera was sold as a generic camera that can be "personalized" with"your logo here". It may still even be available. A factory in China likely cranked these out and then took orders to have a logo screened upon them. I have no idea what "NCAA I Chose Division II" means or how this was given out. I know it's a college basketball thingy. How's the camera you didn't ask?

100_3525.JPGFeature wise, the only really bad thing about it is that it takes AAA batteries. They go fast, so you don't get very many pictures out of it before needing to replace them.  It does have a generic menu system, but was easy enough to program and understand. It's LCD does okay, and it also has a view finder and a flash. Not much else to tell you about other than it's really small, so I thought it was a good candidate for a "car cam" that I could take out of the car and use whenever I forgot my regular camera. (Which almost never happens.)

IMG_0020.JPGI suppose this took okay pictures on the outside. They were a little on the grainy side but acceptable, but what put me off on this dung runner were the inside pics. This pic was the best of the demo pics it took. Most of them, when using the flash, suffered from the same thing several cheap digicams suffer from.  Blur, blur, blur. Overexposed. My gosh that sheepdog's head is glowing! The sheepdog from HELL! No, the cheap promo camera, resting quietly in the Junk Zone. (Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do)

100_3519.JPGAGFA ePHOTO CL18 640x480 2 "AA"  "2 Meg Memory"

This was purchased at the same thrift store I bought the cams featured on the first Junk Cameras entry. AGFA is known for, well, were known for, film I believe? Don't know, don't care. This little camera was made for the person who wanted to snap quick photos and share them on line and not much else. With no view screen and no removeable memory, you ask, why did they even bother?

100_3520.JPG...because when this camera came out, anything as deluxe as a screen or memory was still very expensive. Amazing how technology gets better and cheaper within a few years. Remember when you couldn't get a DVD player for less than...aww forget it. The biggest money saver on this cam is, it didn't even have a processor for pictures. Almost every consumer camera takes pictures in a JPEG format that works on everything. You would download the images into a program, and that program turned the pictures into JPEGs saving the memory needed to do it on the cam itself.  It sucked, but some of the cheap cameras made back then used this process to make crappy pictures to share. Nothing says "memory" like a blurry photo of your newborn. "Look Grandma, in between all that blur is your grandson. His name is BLOBBY."  Actually this camera took okay photos and I think it doubled as a web cam. The few demo pictures taken with this were, okay, but I think the review of this camera is best.  It's the old version of the website to look now before it's gone.

 100_3530.JPG Olympus D320L 1.0 4 "AA" "Smart Card"

This was a PLUS find for a thrift store because it had the SMART memory card still in the camera! I found this one and I bought it for that reason. I needed to test my other smart card cams and now I actually has one of them. I would have passed on this for being a smart card cam that needs 4 AA batteries to drive it as well. I figured it would end up in my collection of junk cameras, but this was no piece of junk when it came out.

100_3531.JPGIt actually had a decent screen on it, but you could hear the shlurping of those batteries when you used it. When you turned on the cam by sliding the door on the front open, it made the viewfinder the better choice to get several more pics and review them later on your computer. However, that too worked in a different way as there was no standard USB out jack but a headphone style jack that needs a special cable and hooked to your computer's "serial" port. (No not Cereal, No Trix here. It was the early PC accessory port, before USB. Scanners and such used to connect to it.)  Bummer. No worries, if you have a smart card reader hooked to your computer via the new newfangled "USB" port, you were all set. That was until, it decided to eat your card. They weren't cheap.

P9120025.JPGRainy days and Mondays always get me, awww forget it. It was rainy so the demo pic I took with this was from a car window. However, this Olympus, was a no fooling camera and took great photos. Several cams I had would have had trouble taking a sharp image of this scene, but this fixed zoom, all glass, well designed lens captured this pretty well.

P9120028.JPGIt did have some trouble as a lot of point and shoot cameras do, of a cloudy day with brightness peeking through. I guess they get a bit confused, but other than the pasty black of this photo, it's still has quite bit of contrast and sharpness. A review of this cam: is quite favorable. If it wasn't for the fact that it...blah blah blah, you've heard them all before.  The next entry is my chance to rag on a company that strikes humor in the minds of digital cam fans everywhere. When a Fisher Price camera for kids can take better pictures... bwa ha ha ha ha. Junk Blog.


PS: Oh yes, it's the one year anniversary of this very Junk Blog. I had two entries before that were more like "test" posts, but one year ago, I started putting this garbage on the web and nobody cares. Can you smell the thrift store? Can you smell the attic or basement or storage box in a closet? We do it all for you ROD. Oh Yeah, we are the CHAMPEENS! 

100_3709.JPGChannel 43 Plays Favorites! Channel 43.... Here comes the neat animated graphic for MASH. After a few highlights the announcer comes on while a little animated truck rolls along and a pair of lips on the side of the truck make a kiss with a *smooch".  7pm to 8pm while Mash was actually still on the air with new episodes. It replaced the Hogans Heroes hour which was top rated. It became the top rated show in local television for a few years.

Meanwhile the Cleveland Indians were played on Channel 43. So were the Cavaliers. This was at the dawn of cable TV  and many many years away before it swallowed up all the broadcast TV airings. Channel 43 had the games. Of course, that meant, MASH wouldn't play. It also meant the Indians didn't play. We had Municipal Stadium. It was a monstrous 70,000 seat house of pain. Other than the home opener which always sells out, the Indians of the 70's and 80's was lucky if they had 10,000 in the cavern of crap. Of course, on Sundays during foobah season, it was Browns Town. Dream crusher. Not housing champions since 1964.

100_3710.JPGNow, I wasn't old enough to drink, but the subliminal advertising for kiddies like me worked. When I was of "legal age", Busch beer was a cheap beer but it had more taste than the cheapest dreck out there. "Popular Priced" I believe was the moniker used. You could buy 40oz bottles of these for 95 cents at the local Revco drug store. Now, I'm not sure why they chose to adorn the other side of this butt comforter.  Maybe because it tastes like A**. I recall at the old broken down palace of tears, the official beer you could get was Genesee. It's a fine burp beer as well. Popular Priced. With who? Yes, we drank that stuff. I had a friend that liked their Cream Ale nick named "Genny Screamers". It didn't grow on me.

100_3712.JPGChannel 43 Plays Favorites! Then, Channel 19 WOIO went on the air and kicked their ass by playing movies pretty much without editing. My video tape of the Blues Brothers with commercials is pretty much the way the DVD came out. With swear words. They also played newer shows as well as better older shows. Ahh, but when the Indians were on Channel 43,  the old United Artists Cleveland outlet was on top. Why wanted to actually pay their pittance to drink watered down beverage when they could be seen at home?  Since the Indians were so "meh", they had a giveaway every weekend and various weekdays. My step father would take us to bat day. We'd have actual Louisville Sluggers which my brother would promptly break playing softball with them. Ahh, the other times we got freebees from the Indians, this was indeed one of them. Could you see them giving a BEER ADVERTISEMENT to an 12 year old nowadays? It was a Municipal Stadium SEAT CUSHION!  A man built this! It's vinyl covered foam!

100_3711.JPGI remember we did use these a few times when we went to the stadium. Likely they got left there and then trashed. I actually looked this up on the Bay and yes, you can buy one for $20! Wheeee, this junk blog is worth something! Of course, it's vinyl with foam inside so that means that it cant get the NERF EFFECT (pat pending). Nerf Effect is, when you pass gas, a really hideous waffles with syrup or cinnamon Life cereal or even Taco Bell bean burrito toot into a foam'll smell it again for years...and years... 

Even keeping it in a box with a little mold didn't stay in the foam. This still smells like peanut shells and old Genny and crushed dreams. The old Municipal Stadium seats really needed some padding... Ask anyone that grabbed one when Modell took the Browns away from Cleveland....

Oh yeah, Opening Day 2016 at home at the JAKE, er, Progressive Field  is Monday April 4th at 4PM. GO TRIBE! Indian starts from the very first inning!  I'll be sitting on my Nerf Effect resistant Channel 43 plays favorites Busch "Popular Priced" seating while rooting on my team. GO JOE CHAR-BON-EAU! GO JOE CHAR-BON-EAU!


PS: As I live in Cleveland, we have something called winter. That thing called winter can sometimes F**K up plans. Every few years, it F**Ks up opening day. So, enjoy your iced beer and ice cream and $40 parking 2 days in a row. Now Tuesday, April 5th at 1PM. Est. temp at game time? 30-35 degrees....but likely SUNNY.

What Can BROWNS Do For You?

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100_2971.JPGYay! It's FOOBAH season! As Sunday Sept 13 will kick off the 2015 campaign of the Cleveland Browns, I figured, why not feature this supreme crap collection. It will even have a few extras tossed in for good measure. When I'm crying in my beer in these old cups when we end up 3-13, feel giddy that I have a plastic cup from 1999 while whiffing the farts in the Tim Couch there from the NERF(TM) EFFECT. (C)

100_2972.JPG1999 Was the return to Cleveland of FOOBAH taken from us when Art Modell didn't get his new digs while the Injuns and Cavs did. We here thought, the Browns never could leave Cleveland. It's what we ate, drank, slept and fornicated too. "Oh yeah, Oh Yeah, Here it comes , here it comes... BERNIE BERNIE! OH BAYYYYYBEEEE!" It's nice that I have these saved. I think I have two hundred saved drinking vessels. Someday this blog will catalog them all. I know I have a Roger Rabbit plastic cup and a Samuel L. Jackson Star Wars drink topper cup  from Taco Bell.

100_2974.JPGThis one is actually pretty nice. Of course it's from 1999 before all the BPA hype. You're nuts will shrivel while you enjoy midland coffee drinks in this travel tankard from "I Love This Place." At least it's the newer logo. I never used it. I put it away so it will be worth a quarter in 2019 when it's the 20th year losing. I'm from Cleveland. Did I mention that?

100_2973.JPGPretty complex for a 25 cent piece of history huh? It's almost a cheap cup holder ashtray. That's it. Burn up the BPA. Mmmmm. Dig it man. I gotta drop some BPA and listen to Phish. Mawwwwww doooooood.

100_2975.JPGHere's the cups they actually gave out with a $8 p*ss beer at the new stadium. It was an incredibly unremarkable stadium. The new "Gund" arena was pretty decent for bad basketball.  Jacob's Field hosted 455 sell out games until the choking set in. It was a baseball palace as the old line stadiums across the country were coming down slowly. Surely a few new stadiums were inspired by how good it was. Meanwhile, I watched on the web while "Cleveland Stadium" took shape. I got to see a crappy expansion team playing like a bunch of beat down third string rookies in a totally sterile football bowl. At least I got to see the first touchdown of the new Browns scored into the "Dawgpound"  while I was sitting in said pound. I must have taken about 15 of these used spew laden cups from the stadium as people threw them everywhere and didn't see the collectors value. 10 cents each in 2019.

100_2982.JPGThere's yer damn proof. I was THERE! Of course, now the season tickets for 8 games in section 320 is $600, but 1999 was before we had a real team that was a real winner inspiring confidence in... hell, WTF am I yammering about. Let's chage topics for just a moment...

100_2976.JPGGO TRIBE!  We have the slightest slightest chance of making it into the playoffs this year. Slight slight chance. Really really slight! Rained out tonight. Three games against the TIGS on Saturday and Sunday. Two on Sunday. Which team will I watch? A team with no promise that will go through QB's like a dog through Pabst cans...or a team with little chance, but a glimmer of hope. I'm yammering again. Where do I live? Cleveland. What do Cleveland's sports teams do? Disappoint their fans since 1965.

100_3016s.jpegBut shucks.... We LOVE our CLEVELAND BROWNS. So much so that we'll use these $1.99 license plate frames to tell the world that we're LOSERS that like the LOSING team. Isn't that creative however? The "O's" are FOOTBALLS. Get it? I of course, didn't put this on my Parmavagen because I go to Steelers country a lot, and they tend to damage Cleveland Browns fans' cars or at least use them as porta johns.

100_2978.JPG GO BROWNS! Of course, I hope I'm incorrect about my predictions for this year. I hope it's different. I hope we KICK ASS with no injuries and the same skilled QB having a career year and taking us to the promised land and winning us the sausage! (Trivisonno, Thanks. ) Oh, I'm sorry. Yammering again.


What is this disgusting stuff? It looks like TRIPE! It's Potted Meat Product! It's sheep's entrails. No, it's HAIRNETS. I keep them in my Browns collectors cups as a memory of going to Maryland to play the best lasertag ever, PHOTON. It was someone who opened an arena 10 years after they all had closed. It was using old equipment. We used to put these on so that we could wear disgusting Lysol coated helmets and run around aimlessly in the dark while Predator scored on you when you were lying in pain from a leg cramp. 

I had the fun of playing in that new arena on two occasions. I even wore my old Photon tee with my Photon nickname "Trapper" right on it. Jeeze I loved Photon. I really couldn't afford to play by game. At 6.50 a game on McDonalds money, it was a lot. Ahh, but Saturdays, when for $20 it was all you could play for 6 hours.

So, with old equipment and a bit longer game, it was, old school. I loved it. However, running old equipment with no way to replace other than surplus begged from private collections covered in mold, it got too much to run. They had "Photon Nights" for a few years. I don't even know if the joint is open anymore. I have pictures, and HAIRNETS!

ARF! -Ricochet