Yay! It's FOOBAH season! As Sunday Sept 13 will kick off the 2015 campaign of the Cleveland Browns, I figured, why not feature this supreme crap collection. It will even have a few extras tossed in for good measure. When I'm crying in my beer in these old cups when we end up 3-13, feel giddy that I have a plastic cup from 1999 while whiffing the farts in the Tim Couch there from the NERF(TM) EFFECT. (C)
1999 Was the return to Cleveland of FOOBAH taken from us when Art Modell didn't get his new digs while the Injuns and Cavs did. We here thought, the Browns never could leave Cleveland. It's what we ate, drank, slept and fornicated too. "Oh yeah, Oh Yeah, Here it comes , here it comes... BERNIE BERNIE! OH BAYYYYYBEEEE!" It's nice that I have these saved. I think I have two hundred saved drinking vessels. Someday this blog will catalog them all. I know I have a Roger Rabbit plastic cup and a Samuel L. Jackson Star Wars drink topper cup from Taco Bell.
This one is actually pretty nice. Of course it's from 1999 before all the BPA hype. You're nuts will shrivel while you enjoy midland coffee drinks in this travel tankard from "I Love This Place." At least it's the newer logo. I never used it. I put it away so it will be worth a quarter in 2019 when it's the 20th year losing. I'm from Cleveland. Did I mention that?
Pretty complex for a 25 cent piece of history huh? It's almost a cheap cup holder ashtray. That's it. Burn up the BPA. Mmmmm. Dig it man. I gotta drop some BPA and listen to Phish. Mawwwwww doooooood.
Here's the cups they actually gave out with a $8 p*ss beer at the new stadium. It was an incredibly unremarkable stadium. The new "Gund" arena was pretty decent for bad basketball. Jacob's Field hosted 455 sell out games until the choking set in. It was a baseball palace as the old line stadiums across the country were coming down slowly. Surely a few new stadiums were inspired by how good it was. Meanwhile, I watched on the web while "Cleveland Stadium" took shape. I got to see a crappy expansion team playing like a bunch of beat down third string rookies in a totally sterile football bowl. At least I got to see the first touchdown of the new Browns scored into the "Dawgpound" while I was sitting in said pound. I must have taken about 15 of these used spew laden cups from the stadium as people threw them everywhere and didn't see the collectors value. 10 cents each in 2019.
There's yer damn proof. I was THERE! Of course, now the season tickets for 8 games in section 320 is $600, but 1999 was before we had a real team that was a real winner inspiring confidence in... hell, WTF am I yammering about. Let's chage topics for just a moment...
GO TRIBE! We have the slightest slightest chance of making it into the playoffs this year. Slight slight chance. Really really slight! Rained out tonight. Three games against the TIGS on Saturday and Sunday. Two on Sunday. Which team will I watch? A team with no promise that will go through QB's like a dog through Pabst cans...or a team with little chance, but a glimmer of hope. I'm yammering again. Where do I live? Cleveland. What do Cleveland's sports teams do? Disappoint their fans since 1965.
But shucks.... We LOVE our CLEVELAND BROWNS. So much so that we'll use these $1.99 license plate frames to tell the world that we're LOSERS that like the LOSING team. Isn't that creative however? The "O's" are FOOTBALLS. Get it? I of course, didn't put this on my Parmavagen because I go to Steelers country a lot, and they tend to damage Cleveland Browns fans' cars or at least use them as porta johns.
GO BROWNS! Of course, I hope I'm incorrect about my predictions for this year. I hope it's different. I hope we KICK ASS with no injuries and the same skilled QB having a career year and taking us to the promised land and winning us the sausage! (Trivisonno, Thanks. ) Oh, I'm sorry. Yammering again.
JUNK BLOG BONUS
What is this disgusting stuff? It looks like TRIPE! It's Potted Meat Product! It's sheep's entrails. No, it's HAIRNETS. I keep them in my Browns collectors cups as a memory of going to Maryland to play the best lasertag ever, PHOTON. It was someone who opened an arena 10 years after they all had closed. It was using old equipment. We used to put these on so that we could wear disgusting Lysol coated helmets and run around aimlessly in the dark while Predator scored on you when you were lying in pain from a leg cramp.
I had the fun of playing in that new arena on two occasions. I even wore my old Photon tee with my Photon nickname "Trapper" right on it. Jeeze I loved Photon. I really couldn't afford to play by game. At 6.50 a game on McDonalds money, it was a lot. Ahh, but Saturdays, when for $20 it was all you could play for 6 hours.
So, with old equipment and a bit longer game, it was, old school. I loved it. However, running old equipment with no way to replace other than surplus begged from private collections covered in mold, it got too much to run. They had "Photon Nights" for a few years. I don't even know if the joint is open anymore. I have pictures, and HAIRNETS!