Oh Boy! Oh Boy! Look at the GAME! It's got spinning things. It's got flying things. It's got two children of the early 70's looking like this game may cause hours of fun. I wanted to have MOUSETRAP. I can't catch plastic "meeses" with this stupid game. It does come with marbles. I don't remember if you get marbles with Mousetrap. It's so observant that the kid with the bowl cut may be slightly "slow" and pointing at the spinning plastic thingys and saying "Bunnyrabbit!" I've always wanted a plastic flag saying "POW".
A little look at the sides. I got this at a thrift shop way back when I was into buying games for 50 cents each that I would play once and never again. This was one of those games that survived. It wasn't a board game that could be converted in to a really stupid game about K-Mart where we taped a squished spider to the board and said it was a sign of Kwality. Really this game was a big box of okay. You scored points by trying to make ol' Finnegan fly into a dumpster without it closing. You aimed the swing, tried to hit the dumpster, it was a lot of fun as you watched the plastic piece flop into the dumpster. They should have called this BFI JUMP or Rumpke Dump or..forget it. The real story of this junk post begins when you open the box.
It's Hollywood derp Steven Segal! He's Under Siege! He's Hard To Kill! He's one of the worst guest stars on Saturday Night Live! Ahhh, when I worked at Curtis Mathes, this was one of the perks. Taking home movie stand ups that were used for promoting the movie in store. I don't know what movie this was for, but ol' Steve was at his height at the same time I was delivering "SL" entertainment systems and dodging roaches in the process.
Now he has a full, stiff, extended, erected sword. Does anybody find this as funny as I did when I took it? The game is underneath. Look at those long parts that worked in harmony... POW! It's just like a call in cartoon show with a live host here in the Cleveland area called Video Arcade with Candy Kramer. Kids would play Intellivision's Astrosmash and shout POW! while a lowly intern pushed the button that shot the shot into the digital sky. Of course, there was delay involved. You had to say POW about two seconds before to explode the asteroid. Then, you watched Muttley on the "Catch That Pigeon" show. Damn. That was all we had.
You got little pegs and you kept track of your score. Whoopee. Actually it's some sort of laser device meant to make Ol' Stevie Baby get an erect sword. Can I get any more jokey about his pokey? BOP!
OHMIGODYOUVESQUISHEDMRSEGALUNDERADUMPSTER! It caused his sword to retract. Hell if you had a dumpster land on you, I doubt you'd have a very erect sword. It appears this is only a plastic dumpster and appears to be a refreshing dumpster filled with water to catch Mr. Finnegan. Don't mind the other debris in the picture. Waiting on my lazy ass to take them to be recycled.
"Oh sure, this may be all fun and games to you Mr. Junk Blog Dog, and you find such things FUNNY. Well, I was a FILM STAR In the late 80's and early 90's and I can still JU-JITSU you and make tiny canine sushi and feed it to the people that eat dog! Have you had DOG? I have had dog! Tastes like ASS, but with a little garlic and some Franks Red Hot, it's a real delicacy. So you STOP TALKING about me. I'm warning you! I'll make an appearance in Expendables 7: Russian Drift as the comic relief character OLAF. David Letterman will co-star and ask Olaf if he was anywhere near Chernobyl and Olaf will say "I don't remember". Then David Letterman will say that they are offering wheat for help, but it turns your urine blue. Olaf will then tell Dave to go F*CK himself. WHAT A MOVIE! It was based on a late night television show I think. Man, Letterman has a huge beard. OH YEAH! STOP THAT S*IT NOW DOG! Return me to my slightly musty slumber in the obscure box containing a Kenner board game attempt."
This was the crushing part. I didn't realize this game was from 1977, but there it is in green and white. I didn't smudge out the address because I doubt there is a place any more. I did actually send a letter! I wish I had the reply. I believe this game was missing a small part that didn't affect the game at all. I sent a note, but didn't have a part number and they sent back a nice form letter saying the game was no longer supported and I would be better off buying some "Return Of The Jedi" Star Wars crap. It's the first in a long line of the reality of junk. It may still have some use, most will not, but all will be silly to support after a few years. How many phones, tablets, computers, video game systems, video equipment, ect. can you still say works for your everyday needs. Am I the only one still using a 14 year old cell phone? Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin.... *burp*
Hey! Mr. Fat Hanz! You've made a very important story to end this mess. Flying Finnegan looks a little like Stevey Baby! It looks like Stevey has a moustache. They both have goofy eyes! They are both in tights...sort of... Maybe ...LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER! Nahhhh. Junk Blog. -Ric