Results tagged “Pabst”

Summer Recovery Post

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I wanted to do another entry after almost two months of being away. I got lots to talk about and then I'll get back to the regular junk offerings. That's what a blog is all about right? RIGHT? Right Right Really Really Right.

RIP Jay Thomas

Early Jay On Sirius.jpg
(Image copyright to the owner of it, since I don't own any pics of Jay, I thought this was the best one that sums up how I would best remember him.) He's "that guy from television that is in everything". He's "that guy from Mork And Mindy". He's "that guy from that movie, you know, the one with the Jaws guy".  All I knew about Jay was he was good on Letterman and I liked to see him every now and then on TV. Turns out, he was a radio guy. He started as a radio guy and continued to be a radio guy until the end. I did something crazy in 2006 and subscribed to Sirius Satellite radio. Pay for radio? Was I nuts? No, it was the only way to hear Howard Stern.  I found some other channels on there as well, but Howard is why I had it.

Well, Howards channels evolved, and when Bubba The Love Sponge stopped doing his Friday "Live" show, Howard needed a new show. He had heard Jay Thomas all the way back before Howard Stern became Howard Stern and admired the fact that a disk jockey could transition to an acting career. Sirius hired Jay just before they made a deal with Howard.  Jay was doing his show Monday through Thursday so Howard asked if he wanted to join his channel on Fridays.  That's where I started listening to Jay Thomas. I'd only hear that Friday show, but pretty soon, I was so hooked on Jay's style of radio, I sampled his weekday shows and was hooked again. He was incredibly talented for doing a show with minimal support. He turned on the mike, interviewed odd and unusual guests, had fun with callers, and did a show that was compelling and funny with none of that goofy radio "s*it". The first time he was sick, he made us believe it was from an old football injury that was making it tough to swallow. (He had throat cancer.)  He recovered and blamed the length of his recovery on an infection from the operation. I believed it. Unfortunately, another type of cancer came and silenced his voice. He never let us as listeners know. He took more days off but I thought he was doing things for his acting career. He blamed his weakening voice on the CA wildfires and squirting eye cleaner in his throat rather than throat spray. He just didn't want his show to become a pity party.

On his last day on the air, he bitched at us for complaining for all the repeats that were airing when he took days off. He said he hadn't begun to get all his vacation days on his contract and that we should just enjoy the reruns. That was it. He never came back. Nearly two weeks later when going back to work from lunch, I saw that he had passed.  Still missing what felt like a familiar friend spending two hours a day letting me in on his world. He'd probably call me an idiot and "Get Rid Of Em" if I called and told him that. Goodbye Jay.


So, besides that hole in my day, my Sunday nights also changed forever as the Funday Pawpet Show ended it's 18 year run. I have Yappy Slyfox to thank as he put my Radiolawn show "on the air" with a Real Audio broadcast. It was streaming audio/video in it's infancy and most home users were lucky to have just a 56K modem to bring them internet goodness. Well, when he had to start working Sundays, he couldn't keep running my show and it went over to Romeo Rabbit's "Rabbit Hole" show stream where it continues to air. Romeo had some hurricane damage but decided to keep entertaining us all on Sunday nights. So, Radiolawn #250 will likely air this weekend Oct. 1st/2nd.

Leon is getting LARGER, as I went to Kentucky Kingdom and found that the new rolling stock roller coaster cars that they have installed on the existing coasters are not built for anybody of larger carriage. At least at Cedar Point, larger people get ONE SEAT on every roller coaster where we can at least enjoy the park. Believe me, there's a lot of shame involved when you sit in a tester seat and can't get it to close. LOSE WEIGHT BEEYOTCH!

Believe it or not, I finally got me a "smart phone". My old phone with the model number "K9" had never seen me type a text to anyone and I used it only as an emergency phone. A good friend of mine convinced me that I really couldn't avoid the smart phone TXT'ing goodness and after burning off $120 credit by Hex/Dec typing text messages, I got one. I don't think it takes the best pics, but there is nothing better than texting someone standing across the grill from me at BDs Mongolian. Maybe that K9 phone will be a future post here. It plays TETRIS.

Smash Greywolf called me out of the blue and invited me to a concert by "VNV Nation". He was the first fur I met ever, and we became fast friends because we had so much in common. Turns out he moved into a best friend's home after that friend left Avon Lake. I even asked if he remembered the pulleys that were nailed to his trees in the back yard, as my friend and I had a pulley system for getting stuff up to our tree forts. Here we were in Toledo and we went to my first con and he introduced me to lots of early furries, so I'm forever grateful. Well, I didn't know "VNV Nation" but I did like "industrial" music in my past, so I treated it like I was seeing an opening band that I've never heard of. I bought two albums at the show, and that was that. I'm part of the Nation. I want to collect em all.

Well, sorry for being lax about the posting. Live Journal says I need to agree to "Russian Law"  and I'm no Russian law scholar so I'm not going to agree. So, occasionally I'll break from the Junk Blog format for a post like this. When silly things may happen, like Cleveland sports or someone famous that means so much to me passes or I lose 100 pounds on the Pabst diet, you'll know.

ARF! -Ric

Everybody's Got One In Their Basement

100_4350.JPGSelf: "Self? I think I need to get a treadmill."

Inner Self: "You just need to diet fat ass. Stop drinking beer beverage. "

Self: "Give up BEER? No No Devo!"

Inner Self: "Well then, why not exercise more than sitting your doompas in front of a monitor."

Self: "I could... It's winter so walking isn't the best unless I join the mall walkers club at a participating dead mall..."

Inner Self: "Gosh, you are a fat blubber whale of a fatbody Private Pyle."

Self: "I know! I'll get a treadmill. I know I'll use it more than 20 times until setting it in the corner of the basement to collect dust. "

Inner Self: "In 10 years or so, it will make a great junk blog post. Go fourth and mortgage that 24 pack!"

100_4356.JPGA man built this! It's a treadmill! I went to the local SEARS (yes, Sears, because Dicks Sporting Goods was $2746 more and Wally had an even cheaper treadmill that seemed like it would be adequate, but not, at least, lasting.)  So, my brother and I went and picked up this sucker and I set it up in a portion of my apartment and I was off to the races. *stumble* *fall* *crashes into a mirror* *breaks a shelf* *hurts foot* *hurts wrist* Maybe I should have been wearing a bicycle helmet while I was striding to no place on this fine machine.  You see, I had lost a LOT of weight, and the key to it was diet, exercise, and giving up beer beverage. I was dry for a hundred days or so and walked about 2 miles. Every day. But, with every diet, there comes the slow pace of gaining everything back. I wasn't horrible, but I'd gained 20 back and it was nearing winter, so what a solution. Join a gym or bring the gym home.  It was a compact unit and I would wheel it out in front of my TV and walk three miles a day.

100_4352.JPGWeslo brand. Cadence 70e. Big deal. At least it does look like it got some use. It did get the use. Through the winter I attempted to use this every day for that at least one mile, but usually two or three. I didn't run on this, because, well, why run? Walking is low impact and I usually do it every day. It's usually when I go to stores or malls. I park in the very back spot away from ijits that open their car doors without a care and dent my doors. Everybody does it.  Who cares. Cars are cheap now. Let the doors fly! *grumble* You know, I had a cheap Chundai vehicle that I traded in a few years ago. I was so proud that the doors and the body of the car had NO DENTS AT ALL...except one from somebody where I worked, right after I'd bought the car, and well, they were not patient enough to open their door slowly. Unfortunately, I parked out of reach of the security cams. If the alt parking lot wasn't being paved...

100_4351.JPGSo it was a extra clean car that I was proud of. I traded it in. Two days later I went back in my new Hyduki and I saw that someone had dented the door with a big pock while my car was awaiting the old loan to clear. A few days later, I went back and my car was on the used car lot and both dents were GONE! It appears they have advanced body work so that they digitally match the color of the paint and with space age fillers, made it look like it never happened. Only the previous owner could have seen where the repairs were made. I wonder if they will last... My previous hoopty a Nissan Sentra was pre dinged when I got it and after a few years at my job, it was like a Chinese checkers board it had so many dents. Ahhh, but when you have a car you care about, the 500 steps into a building is nothing. However someone ALWAYS parks next to me. At least they should be as careful as me. Sure. Superspot is what I call them. If there is a median with a tree, look for me, walking in 100 degree heat.

100_4357.JPGI remember what my brother said when we picked this up. "It's going to end up as a plant stand like thousands of others." I was out to prove him wrong. Like I said, it was six months or so of intense use, but little loss. Why? I loved me some beer beverage. Look at the underside of this majestic workhorse. It's a two AA battery affair. Yes, I'm sure this is the ruin of many of these machines. You put the batteries in it, use it for a bit, then let it collect dust while your batteries expire and ruin the whole thing. Yes, I took mine out. I moved to a house rather than an apartment and thought I'd be using this every day in my basement work out room. *spits Pabst everywhere* I will say that at least I took the batteries out. OH GOOD FOR YOU!

100_4353.JPG...and there it sits. I tried using it again as my pounds started slowly accruing like an Atari 2600 game of Pac Man. I wrenched my jaw and went "bing bing bing" and munched the square power pill while the ghosts really blinked and blinked and blinked.. I did have to adjust the belt a bit to make sure it works and got some real exercise in, but, well, I could sell this but this piece of junk would mean failure. I did give up the beer beverage for one month last year but um...the Cavaliers were in the excuse..but the truth, I lost 10 pounds on the no beer diet. I've kept it off. Wanna lose more? No beer for you. I placed this shirt over the treadmill to cover it up and well, this post may just energize me again to go and start walking and give up that which keeps "Leon is getting LAAARRRGER" (Skitch. Airplane. Thanks.)  -Ric

P.S. You know, one could say my annoying (Skitch. Thanks.) is nothing more than a baffling part of the "junk blog mythos." (Way too much credit.) No, it really does have a twisted meaning. Want to hear it? Here it go.

I was well schooled in David Letterman's 1986 season of Late Night. Comedian Carol Leifer did a bit with Dave at his desk and said a joke to which Paul Shaffer played a "BOMP" to "punch" it. That made Carole look over at Paul Shaffer and say "Skitch.... Thanks...." David Letterman got a huge laugh out of that. I had no idea what it was, but I thought it was a funny way to reference when someone else helps punch your joke to make it funnier. Turns out, she was referencing Skitch Henderson who was Jack Paar's Tonight Show band leader and was at the beginning of Carson's  career on the show. Hence, why David laughed so hard at something baffling to my pre-internet mind. That is all.

Pabst In Bottles? Yes, they make them...

100_4374.JPGThe hipster beer. Pabst. I would be the furthest thing from being a "hipster". It's your father's beer beverage, or, your grand fathers beer beverage. I don't think it's been that popular since the early 80's when everything got to be about smooth, crisp, refreshing. You know, like, the TV Commercials of the 80's taught ya. Everything you always wanted in a beer. Going for the gusto. Spuds McKenzie got more tail than your average pimple faced "Silver Spoons has a kid with a video game in his living room" teenager. It was the beverage we were told will get you drunk. It was BEER. Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie! I'm under aged.

100_4375.JPGUnder aged indeed. Not much money. You think I'd be happy to down such "swill" long before it became hip to drink Pabst. No, we had one of the newest innovation beers to swill. The one with the "lined can". Keystone had just come to the area and that was the beer of choice. With my friend's fake ID and the fix in at a little quick mart, we had an endless supply of cheap ass beer beverage. We would have bonfires in my friend's back yard and a few months later, we had a guest join us unexpectedly bearing booze.

100_4376.JPGShe had a tray of frozen bourbon slushes. Her husband worked overnight at the Ford plant and she would see us from her back yard seeming to laugh and have fun and whiz in the bushes that seemed to grow oh so huge. We welcomed her as one of the guys and we drank and had good times good times. All the time, Keystone or another beer beverage, Busch. We headed for the mountains. Then they came out with ICE beers and Keystone Ice followed. One bad batch spoiled all the fun. It tasted like Elsinore with mice in it. (Doug and Bob McKenzie. Skitch. Thanks.) We started buying Busch and that's the beer I stuck with for years and years. It's a wonder I have any taste buds left.

100_4377.JPGOur friendship grew with this bearer of bourbon slush and we met her husband who also liked a few beers to drink. My friend invited them to a celebration and that's where I learned that many auto workers drank a funky beer called Pabst. Why? It had flavor. I think this party is where I tried my first "Natty Light". I might have even had one of these "Pabsts". It was awful because it had a odd "not so smooth" flavor. Those were called HOPS and those HOPS made the beer taste a bit BITTER. The "beer of the auto worker" became a thing to me and my future radio things. I however, didn't drink the swill. I drank a smooth alcoholic beverage. Busch. Yum.

100_4378.JPGSince this is a blog about junk, I picked these up at a thrift shop like many things on this blog in my pursuit of finding a good digital camera. They are the key chain bottle openers that you may have to open several bottles of beverage but eventually the name on the key chain wears off and the bottle opener becomes worn out. So, why not buy a bag of 20 for 1.59 because they are for something you wouldn't drink in the bottles because they cost a buck more. We'll get back to that in a moment. I have a few more pics to show while I finish my auto worker beer story...

100_4379.JPGYears later when I started "working" in radio, I developed my "Daniel Pentastar" character as an auto worker for the Toledo Jeep plant on Willys Parkway. I based him very loosely on a co-worker and really funny radio host that I worked with, Jaz McKay.  Daniel says "Yeaaaaahhhh Buddy....!" and talks about his job boltin bumpers at the Jeep plant, driving his modified Lingenfelter  (what G. Gordon Liddy was always speaking of) V10 Ram Truck (which was always in the shop) or bopping around his back yard in his Willys CJ7.  He also talked about his favorite beer Pabst Blue Ribbon because it was the beer of the auto worker.  Of course, my radio life had ended, Louisville became my recovery point, and when I started earning some cake, I discovered all things liquor, and then took a liking to coffee and then my adult tastes took me to a microbrew, The Cumberland Brewery, and that was that. I fell into a world of flavor and the bitter the better was the mantra when drinking beer. Pale Ales, IPAs, Double IPAs, Porters and Stouts became manna from heaven.

Ahhh, but those cost a lot of money. When I was at home, I wanted something cheap to drink in between guzzling the good suds. Hence, I started drinking Pabst because of that little bit of bitter from the hops. That was all. Sure I had other cheapies, but Pabst seemed to be the beverage I would always return too. It was cheap. It's always cheap. But, it's been growing every year since the early 00's and took on the "hipster beer" reputation. I don't care. My preferred type is the 24oz King Can that I get in a 12 pack from Pitt for 13.99. Thanks to Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel's Man Show bringing us  Bill "The Fox" Foster and his chant Ziggy Zocky Ziggy Zocky Hoy Hoy Hoy when he downed a beer... I call the 24oz servings of Pabst "Ziggy Zockys". (Yes I know I'm not spelling in correctly. So what.)

100_4382.JPGEnter the CBS eye. It winks at you. It opens and closes like a camera lens on the ending of Twilight Zone eps they show on MeTV,. Heh. It's a bottle opener forged in the USA by the Sears Craftsman tool company. Likely one of the few tools made in the USA by a failing company. Oh don't worry, Craftsman will be a brand they sell off along with DieHard batteries. They already have DieHard televisions...and K-Mart owns the Curtis Mathes brand... What a bunch of sheis.

100_4380.JPGWell cuz.... I have a ton of Pabst bottle openers now. I never buy Pabst in bottles. I do buy other beers in the bottle and I open said bottles with the mighty Craftsman bottle opener. It's big and heavy and opens bottles like every other bottle opener. It will likely last for years and years, but it's not that portable that you can place it on your key chain like a 94.5 WXKR chain with the worn out lettering and the bottle opener that skips six or seven times before it finally opens your bottle. Eh. Drink at home or drink from a can. There's lots and lots of craft beers in a can these days as they get more popular. Cheaper and more places than glass.

Addams Family. The thinking man's Munsters.  Get the DVD's today at a 'Zon near you. :) -Ric

NEXT DAY UPDATE: I wrote this blog 1/5.  On 1/6 I found out that ideed, Sears is parting with the Craftsman name. They'll still have the crap to sell, but Black and Decker is going *GULP*. Craftsman Dustbusters! YAY!

Beer Boxes Make Good Junk Storage

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100_4343.JPG"Hey, can I take your last beer?"


"We'll SPLIT IT!" 

Ahhh, a great line from the movie STRIPES. I thought I would take a minute to say, yes, I drink beer. Yes, for a time, I was saving the cartons the beer came in. When you bought bottles in a case format, you got one hell of a carton. It could hold that precious 24 pack of soldiers with care. I bought a lot of one particular brand. Sorry California and most of the Western United States. Yuengling is still a regional brew. Coors used to be right? That's what Smokey and the Bandit was about right?

 You see it all began when the Pittsburgh brewing company had a brewing glitch. I was back in Cleveland from Louisville. I still liked "Falls City Lager" which you could only get in Louisville, so I'd always bring back 4-5 cases when I went down south. Brewed by? Pitt brewing. Then, I would go to see Boomer The Dog about once a month and a beer store near his place (back when you could only buy beer in Pitt by the CASE and only from a distributor) had a beer called J.J.Wainwright's Evil Eye Honey Brown that they sold for 8.99 a case! It actually was a good beer! I'd buy two or three cases from there. I also sort of liked Pitt Brewing's amber beer beverage in the aluminium bottles Augustiner.

It was the perfect storm when I had cases of all three beers at my house and all three of them started having a "spoiled" flavor, and all shared the same sour taste that got worse as time went on.  I wrote to the brewery and their response was "likely caused by storage at different retailers". Hmmmm. Three different beers bought in two separate places that may have been brewed in the same unclean tanks causing all to have the same "odd" sour flavor. What was a Beer Advocate like me to do. 67 beers down the drain!!!! *sob**sob*

100_4345.JPGEnter the Yuengling beer company. They had been around forever and it looked like the beer store in Pitt sold tons and tons of it. We couldn't get it here in Ohio, so I "imported" my beer beverages once I tried all their beers. Granted, they are nothing really spectacular. The difference is, it's different. The Amber Lager is their biggest seller and well, I think it kicks the beer butt of any of the other non craft beers save for Pabst. I have a friend that says it's too sweet but he also thinks since Bud was bought out, their quality has gone downhill. I'll have to agree with that. Yuengling also is one of the only beer companies to keep brewing a Porter beer all this time. They also have a Black and Tan, a "Miller" like Premium, and good ol' Lord Chets. It's also a rare throwback ale not unlike Ballantine. It's more expensive, but I like it.

You know, I never would have switched to Y! (as I call it) if Pitt brewing would have given me a little good will. Even if they would have said "we'll check into the problem." They didn't. A few years later, they closed the brewery  and now, are brewed under contract at the old Rolling Rock plant owned by a Wisconsin brewer. Yes, the Rolling Rock waters of Old Latrobe helped Iron City go from a slightly metallic tasting beer to a cheap brew that is much better than Bud, Miller and Coors offerings, but the damage was done. I was sold on the Y! and have been consuming it since. Once I moved into a house, I had a whole lot of basement space available and these boxes started building.

100_4344.JPGI always liked the BOCK beers. Nothing better than asking for a beer by saying what a Chicken says. Of course, this was one of Y!'s seasonal offerings that I started seeing a few years ago. They bought the Strohs brewery in Tampa, Florida and increased their output to meet growing demand. When I was on vacation in Florida, I took the Y! beer tour with two free beers, one before and one after the tour. It was neat to see how the beer I was drinking was brewed. I learned a few things about Yuengling. At least at that brewery, they've never had a bad batch. Quality. I learned the namesake, owner Dick Yuengling hated shipping his beer in cans. Then the tour guide came to the "any questions" portion of the tour and I asked "When are you coming to Ohio? " She replied sternly "Never. Not a chance."  2011? Imported from PA no more.

Meanwhile, I have a ton of these boxes, but you know, those plastic keepers you can buy from any place for about $5 bucks apiece can hold a lot more and don't get stinky or damp if exposed to a bit of water. It's a matter now of, I have a lot of basement and I'm too lazy to tear these up for the recycling bin. I'll get to them. Eventually. Except for the plain boxes that held 22 ounce "bomber" bottles. Yuengling gave up on these when 24 ounce cans became so popular. That means those empty boxes are worth something right? RIGHT?


100_3968.JPGHey! My 100th Junk Blog entry just passed and I had a Pabst, watched some Boston Legal and saw the Rockford Files episode where Jim goes to his trailer and somebody bad comes over and then he talks with his dad and gets involved with a bombshell guest star. Of course Boston Legal followed a formula, Denny shoots something, Alan has intercourse, Odo looks frustrated, Murphy Brown wonders what she's doing on the show. It all comes together in scotch and cigars on the fake balcony on a Fox sound stage in Cali. It was such a great show. Denny Crane. Name on the door.

On with the blogging madness. It looks like a chip/drink holder but it was re-invented by putting little stuffed footballs in it. GOODNIGHT!




Shucks. That's not what this blog is about. It's a worthless document of why I have worthless junk and what it means to me. It also means I have lots of pictures I have to show of this worthless junk. Therefore, on with the show.

100_3967.JPGSee? Nacho cheese in the little portion, and nacho chips in the big portion. Oh, wait, I've got a better idea. You know  how you watch your favorite team blow the game at the very end or get slaughtered all game while you swill beer and eat stuff? How many times have you worked up such anger at your team that you've wanted to throw a piece of misc. concrete that you have laying around in your MANCAVE(TM) at the television? You think twice and then you end up dumping in your drawers as you pass out and your best friend steals your framed Jim Bibby Indians baseball card.  There should be a better way to take out aggression over your team or a lousy episode of "7 Brides For 7 Brothers".

100_3971.JPGYou think I'd take the advice of the tag and clean this damn thing. You see the layers of dust on it. The " big football" is a bean bag that is designed to rest on the arm of your favorite football watchin' chair. Ooops! Where is the official NUFFEL tag that would indicate this is for my favorite NUFFEL team?

100_3965.JPGYay! The Hoboken Television Blitzers.  No, not an official NUFFELL product. Makes it worth a lot less to TV Blitzers collectors. You have to go to a TV Blitzers convention to get one of the official NUFFELL TV Blitzers.  Of course, the pocket hangs down from the side and is designed for remotes, TV look up thingys and condoms. If you put in a quarter, it turns on the vibrating chair because use that chair for other things in front of that 50" big screen don't you. DON'T YOU???? You're so VEIN. You prolly think this BLOG is about you... Sorry. Broke into song two blog entries in a row. This should be a MANLY blog about manly things like MANLY stuffed footballs that are fluffy and cuddly and you want to snuggle with them and...

100_3970.JPGOkay. Here's what they are for if you haven't guessed. You throw them at your TV when you are angry at what is happening. Simple.  I'd assume most of these ended up like a Connect Four checker that rolled under the fridge. What MANLY MAN actually can move his fat ass off the couch and actually get a vacuum and clean up the years of dust, chips, game pieces, Jim Bibby cards and Bic(TM) cigarette lighters to retrieve a damn TV Blitzer? 10 to 1, these did get used for the nacho thing and then were ousted at the end of another losing season like various managers of the losing team. Go Hoboken Television Blitzers!!!


LED Flashlight Failing

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100_3664.JPGWant a burned out flourescent tube? I've got a stack of them. My brother replaced the light that was burning out these bulbs at a "every other month" rate as opposed to the light that came with the house lasted 5 years. I replaced the ballast, but I guess it needed the transformer. Gee, the fixture was as old as WWII. So, it was BYE BYE light. Now, I have an under counter LED light with foam tape placed over the lights because they are too bright. Now, I get about the same as I got with the tubes.  Okay, that story done, what about this crap?  It's a battery powered LED reading lamp. Amazing. I did actually use this device a bit. Had it hanging over my bed. It was a big piece of okay.

100_3666.JPGSee, it's mountable. It might have even been designed as a lighting system. It looks like it was meant to be slid into something. When I attached it to the head of my bed, I used tape. It takes "AAA" batteries. That shouldn't be too much of a trouble. LEDs are really efficient. This little bugger should have been as bright as the sun. It wasn't. Yes, not 4 "AAA" batteries, it only takes 3. Anyone knows with an LED flashlight, you only get peak brightness for a few hours, then you get "useable" light for the rest of the life of the batteries. Not the best for reading.

100_3667.JPGWhy did I buy such a thing if I really thought it was going to be a piece of junk? Well, it was $2.00. We've got a little chain here in the Northeast called "Micro Center". It's what "Comp USA" used to be only three times as big and filled to the brim with every piece of computer related tech including televisions and cameras. They are volume volume volume. I buy from them all the time. Sure I could have save a few bucks with say my new modem box or (years ago) DVD-Rom drive or (recent) 50 CDRs or (very recent) 64G USB chips. Whatever you need, they got it. A majority of the "pieces parts" they carry are bargains. One trip, we saw a huge row of bargain "gadgets" at unbeatable prices. This was one of them. I also purchased several "recording suites" for $4 each. I don't know how good the software is, but it included a microphone and 20FT cable included was worth at least  $30. Boomer uses them for his radio studio and I have one for a backup "guest" mike. I sure thought I would get use out of this little light.

100_3665.JPG6 LED. Um... 5 LED. One of the LEDs was burned out. No worry, it was $2. I mounted it to my bed, put batteries in it, and lit it up and it worked. By gosh, it worked. The lap desk with the built in LED light that never really worked, was always loose and very hard to change the batteries on, now was a thing of the past. I had good old fashioned battery powered light to read or write while laying in bed. It worked. For about 3 months.

100_3668.JPGYou see, the lights sprung out and would almost look like a cross. (It's been so long since I used this POS that I forgot it did fold out so no pic for hugh.) The head also turned to a 90 degree angle. You think that a fine piece of junk like this would last as long as the WWII era light that gave up the ghost in my kitchen. No, after a bit, it would come on and flutter and wouldn't stay in place and of course, the dimming was maddening. With no screws to tighten, I said "F- It!" and it's all idle since. I had an extra lamp leftover from the previous owners. (My house did not have lights on the ceiling except in the kitchen, so they used lots of electric lamps.) I put a CFL bulb in it. I've been well lit when reading Grateful Dead books and drinking Pabst ever since.


P.S. I got it out of the basement and have this in use now. I recall now that I couldn't even read with this, but it does make a good keyboard light. Blue light. Whoops, the head just went down. Farging POS....

100_3393.JPG"Santa?" "Yes?" "Can I smell the brim of your hat?" "Why?" "Because I want to smell the North Pole, and nothing can smell more of the North Pole than Santa's hat." "But, I haven't washed it for a few years. It mats the batting." "WTF are you talking about Santa? Just use the perma press cycle on you're washer and it will smell Downey fresh." "Ho Ho Ho my child, I have a rock on rock Whirlpool purchased from a disinterested puke at Northeast appliance during a black Friday $10 blender sale. It has no perma press cycle." "Santa? Why don't you have that piece of woman Mrs. Claus wash that in Woolite for you?" "Bah, we're fighting. Something about the reindeer and a battery powered device." "Okay Santa. Can I make soup from your hat a little later?" "We'll see, we'll see."

100_3394.JPGSanta's cap. Generic. Dollar store. However, you put yourself instantly in the Christmas spirit at your parties and shopping needs. There is something about wearing one when you go shopping. Like saying to the world "Yes, I suck." Awww, can't say that. I think it's more that I'm simpatico with the retail employees who would rather be anywhere else. Occasionally I find a cashier that has cheer during the season, and those folks, I appreciate. You can chose to be miserable to everybody or you can give a little cheer to someone who appears to be miserable like everybody else at this time of year. It's free to smile and be nice. Too few do it.

100_3397.JPGSo, there I am, smiling. In a long line at a mall. In a long line at a Wally. In a long line in hell. I'm wearing this cheap ass Santa hat. Making people smile because they see that I'm wearing this dumb ass cheap hat. If I think that, why do I wear the hat? In cold weather, it keeps my head warm. It doesn't matter that the past few years when I do my Christmas shopping, it's been 50 degrees. Hence the remarks about smelling the brim of Santa's hat. Makes my head all matted and sweaty.

100_3398.JPGThen, a few years back, I bought this one. It was less than $5 and it was even more fuzzy and more deluxe in the Santa hat category. The basic hat chimney is there. The puff ball on the top is there. It's more of a shiny coat of cheap red fabric, so I was styling for the Santa hats. ARE WE REALLY DOING A BLOG ON SANTA HATS??  YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING! (I'm not alone in the madness. Though, it's just a compilation of tags over at the Wordpress. Moveable Type was a Boomer The Dog approved software for blogging. So, we're powered by Pabst...and Moveable.)

100_3399.JPGHere is the merry secret. The business end of the new modern Santa hat.  Seriously. A Santa hat with a baseball cap style adjustment . HERETIC! You should be BURNED. What sort of nonsense is this? Santa hats should be the cheapest thing that fits whatever way it fits on your sweaty head while buying a mass popcorn tin of stale popcorn from a participating Wally. HOW DARE YOU have a small bit of comfort in your day? HOW DARE YOU vent the back of your head just a tiny bit while WE all suffer in sweaty pain?

100_3403.JPGFinally, when the hats are in storage for the year, the oldest one protects this prized possession. One hat resides in my button box with this prize wrapped inside, a Sandra Boynton animule. I looked up the artist, and she does stuff. I don't know. I saw her stuff a lot in the 80's as just being fuzzy and jaunty but didn't care about it. She does stuff. Meanwhile, this button was given to me by my sister in law at one Christmas where if I spent $100 total on family gifts, I had to get a second loan on the Monza to afford anything. Into my button box it went until about 1996 where I got a computer and the internet and found out that I WAS NOT ALONE!  Therefore, this button has came out every year since and is worn like a radio station tee shirt to let everyone know how much of a douche I can be.  Christmas Junk. -Ric