Nuff said. Just the picture says it all. Ahhh, but I wouldn't be worth a crap as a blogger if I didn't blog about this piece of crap in my junk box. Sure it looks like a useful gadget. How many peeps get that dusty dirt in between their keys and want to get it out. Now, most of you don't have the ability to lug your Hoover or Dyson or Eureka to work or even lift such to keyboard level at home. So, why not do a vac in miniature. Yeah! We'll call it "Techvac" and sell it for $10 to  good meaning folks at Christmas. Bwahahahahahahahahaha.

Make it come with attachments too. Americans love their attachments! From sex tools to 5V USB recharger for your car and sex tool.  We'll give it a nice brush part as well to really give the illusion that this thing is actually working! It does work. No doubt about that. So does a  damp rag.

Ever had a battery powered car vac? I'm not talking about Dustbusters and the like because those things actually worked. No the "car vacs" I'm taking about usually were battery powered or they plugged into cigarette lighter and proceeded to be used once or twice then it was off to wash it yourself car wash to use a vac with BALLS (TM). Notice the high tech dimpling and square 80's tech of this fine piece of motorized plastic. Slop black. Just like my Atari 800xl case. It was such a gadget, if it SUCKED. This sucker BLEW. Geeze, a little cream will fix up the dry cracked skin Mr. Fathanz.

Hold still and I'll tap your knee.  "Tap" "What the hell are you doing, aren't you supposed to be cleaning my VCR?" "Tap. Tap." "Stop hitting my knee or I'm going to deck ya!" "Tappity Tap Tap." *PUNCH* "Ow! I was just trying to get this damn thing working. " "Want to use mine? I've got all sorts of attachments..." "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" "You need a license to use that thing?"

I remember why I got this. My friend Walt and I had a business for a minute where the "big idea" was that we could clean your VCR better than putting in a tape and cheaper than taking it in to your video store. We bought a kit and had pro swabs and a high tech mini vac that never worked. We even registered as a business at  about the same time we applied to work at the Lorain Ford plant.  (He got in, I got into RETAIL.) It lasted 5 minutes and I think we got a total of three calls. One was a mess before we started and we couldn't make it better. Advertising consisted of those "Good Neighbor" cards they used to have at local super markets.  We even got an "office" but it turned out that "office" became the fourth "Spudlok Studios" and we did some great stuff in there while dodging the car noise from being on the corner of a building that doesn't exist anymore.  We couldn't afford one of those underarm vacs with real power, so we had this.

Here was the guts. The "grit" collection bag. I don't think I ever emptied this because this thing just didn't work. It had AA batteries and a tiny motor that tried to pull in light dust, but design wise, it looked like you were doing something but you were doing nothing.  I wish I could have reverse polarity and used it as nut dryer. Think about it. Don't you hate that not so fresh un-dried nuts feeling? DRY YER NUTS with TECHFAN.

-ARF! -Ric