So, it's the day before the day before Christmas. 11th Hour before the day before. All through this blog, pictures of junk were hoping to be featured. X-Mas decorations all sat on the tree hoping to be featured, what say you Mr. GUEEEEEE? Before I get an F for this report, I decided that rather to wax poetic about each little stupid item of Christmas junk, I'd combine a few here. First up, the Celebrator goat.

Yep. It's a goat. It's on every bottle of Celebrator Bock beer. It's a year round... who am I kidding. I don't really like the robust not so hoppy flavor of Bock beers so I've  only had a few. This is the goat from the only bottle I've had. It was damn good. However, not a style I ask for. Have you seen a good beer place and the hundreds of choices for beers available? Ahh, but they put one of these little goats on every bottle. It's like the ceramic stopper on Grolsch  bottles. It's unique and quite a tradition. Then, I'm 'Merican. They gots the painted on blue ribbon on every can o' Pab-Ist. I like that tradition more. Still, these make neat tree decorations, if you decorate your tree with beer cans and 1" video tape and Art Modell urinal screens.

I've waxed poetic about Caribou coffee before on this blog. I feel so cheated that they pulled out of Cleveland after being here for 20 years for Peets which failed after two years. Ahhh, but I have Caribou to brew at home, but it's not the same. A plastic coffee maker is no match for the real machines that make it hot and tasty. I'm always adding a little more or a little less to get it to taste acceptable. That wasn't Caribou to me. I have seemed to unlock the secret of the other big coffee place. Their regular "bitter mud" flavor is better by adding a few small ice cubes. I've been doing it for the past few weeks and it makes their stuff instantly more --weak--- but cools it instantly to a drinkable heat and it's good to me. Enough about that. This was purchased when they were clearing out stuff one month before my favorite Caribou closed. The rest of the chain went four months later. I have this to remember all things good at Christmas that are not here in Cleveland anymore. We need another coffee chain to compete with big mud. Panera? HA! We do have some small indie chains, but not on the west siiiiide. Okay. Moving right along....

Mr. FATHANZ holding a fake wolf's muzzle. See a manicurist jeeze. Go to one of those "special favors" parlors and have those women work their magic on you until you have a "happy ending" and find yourself walking on four legs through the woods...um... So, this muzzle! I bought it from a magic shop near where I now live. They had a few types, but this was the only canine one.  I bought it, I never wore it. Uncomfortable and I didn't want to be walking around saying "Hello ZooBarOheuuuZ."

Oh my? Is that a little blood on those fangs? Have those fangs just taken a bit of Mr. Fathanz?? Hmm, I was craving a touch of the Alpo this evening. Maybe a Christmas Milk Bone? Awww, I'm just funnin with ya....or am I?  That was a cool magic shop but I couldn't understand what it was doing in a odd shopping center that used to be some sort of grocery store. It lasted until a few years ago. Likely the intrawebs killed that magic industry. I do recall they did a healthy costume rental business... Meanwhile, when I got the small "Bob" tree, this was my topper and to this day, it's on my tree. I did shove lights out the nose holes for a few years, but then I bought stubby LED lights. It hasn't been the same. Plus my transformed muzzle doesn't fit inside of....ahhhhh just kidding.

-Ric