So, this isn't a coffin. It's made from the finest misc wood from China. It didn't cost $15,000. It's not even a Kiss coffin. It does look that way. A fine piece of furniture sitting out on my coffee table waiting to table coffee. I have a way of buying some things that I really don't need, nor do I use, but I've wanted it as a coffee table to table coffee.  *finger on lips* Budubee Budubee Budubee.

It's ALIVE! Cheap Chinese LION playing cards come to eat all your cheap plastic chippy dippies! Now, I'm being to hard on these cards. They are after all "Club Special". Look, "Double Lions" Animal two-fer. Betcha they played with these cards in Zootopia! (Didn't see it, don't really care.) Yes, this is a poker set. I thought it was nice enough and cheap enough that I bought one for my poker playing friend. I thought he could use a set. He likes it, but told me that these chips are 7.5 Gram. I was like "Billy Graham? He don't play cards. Jesus hated the gamblers. " He then pointed out to me that these were lighter than the chippy dippies used in Vegas and on  late night poker shows that he said were like watching golf. Oh well, it's a nice looking set in a nice looking box. We did play poker with it a few times, then for Christmas, I got a deal on a larger set with the right weight of chippy dippies.

Mr. Fat Hanz is showing off the wares. These are OK chips. This is an OK set. I've never had anybody to my house that looked at this case, and said "wow let's play with these fine chippy dippies." Why the name? If these were edible, they would be truly chippy dippies. A manager at one of the retail gigs that I've talked about on this blog used to call potato chips "chippy dippies". He would say it in a really singy-songy kind of way that made you question his age. He even made the noise in the topic. "UhooooooHUH Chippy Dippys" Guess you had to be there. No customers were there. Plenty of juvenile perps were there. The guy that bought 6 videotapes for $2 each per day (our limit)  was there. The guy that always bought the absolute cheapest POS we sold was also there. He didn't need no stinkin' remotes. He didn't need no stinkin' perma press cycle. He didn't need no stinkin' vegetable crisper. (Hey, sometimes we had to sell the "P*SS Trough" model refrigerator. It's what I called the model with no cover over the veggie bin. Great place to take a wee when there was nothing else to do for those long hours of waiting for the occasional customer.)

Yep. That's all I've ever won playing poker. Big goose egg. Actually, I wouldn't mind winning a big goose egg. Maybe a golden goose egg. Maybe a GOLDEN TICKET! I'd love the reality of strapping on a hair net and looking at the extruding machines as they pooted out chocolate bars. Where are the orange guys? Where's the burp room?  Where is the gross likable wall paper that everybody has had their ass on? Where are the 60's bending letters that fly in and out like classic Electric Company letters? Where's my ownership of the chocolate chippy dippies?

"Good day sir!"

*but but....*

I SAID GOOD DAY!

-Ric!