Well, I was in retail for a long time, but I've never used the lingo to actually enact the tradition on something I do creatively. So, like the butt of this Christmas doggie gets shoved in the face of all of Madison ave. that thinks having a "Christmas In July" sale is a great way to pull people out of the heat and into buying something for the same price that they could get it for in December. Well, if they have air conditioning... So, I almost forgot to do this, but here's a few of my Christmas thinks shown off in July. Jeeze. Did you know certain dog breeds have tails as wide as surf boards? Joe Satriani! Surfing With The Alien. ..on a stuffed dogs tail...

It's a fun decoration because it has a battery inside that can't be replaced without cutting this guy open. What does he sing? "Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof." What the hell else would he sing? He wouldn't break into a Crosby crooning carol. Of course, he could bark, but since barking sounds more like woofing, I guess they went with woofing. It still baffles me why they make things like this but don't give you any place to change the battery. No matter how long it lasts, it will eventually go bad and even rot. It's like all the things that are made with Lithium batteries that can't be changed making them worthless in a few years. WTF? This dog is no tablet or old MP3 player, but come on? Where do they go? Garbage. Duhhhhhh. *end rant I can't do anything about except to make sure I take old crap to the recycling center* Liberal?  Wait, dogs with scarves? Eyes with Anime white dots? Shows on TV about female baseball pitchers? Bob Baliban???? Next.

Ahhh, good ol' Mr Fat Hanz. (TM)  He's sporting a little Caribou Coffee mug. I think this was purchased they year before Caribou pulled out of Cleveland. It was the old Caribou logo that doesn't look like a Chevrolet ornament. It's for their Ant Latte. It's really tasty and gives you a punch of Ant. So smooth. I drank hundreds of these at 3.59 apiece. Awww hell, I'm just foolin. I loved the coffee and I loved the old logo and I still wish they were here so I didn't have to drive a half hour out of town for the best cup of coffee ever. Not saying Caribou was the best cup of coffee ever, but just about everything they made was a good to great cup of coffee, not the one note burnt and more burnt offerings at another syndicated coffee house. Oh yeah. Christmas junk ornaments...IN JULY!

Here is a few more. I have a lot of crap to put on a table top tree don't I? Mmmmm, see, here's the sexy entry in this junk blog. She doesn't have the rack, but she has all the Dr. Smith/Captain Kirk green green green and she's got that crunchy shell and smooth kinds sweet and a level over Palmer chocolate flavor. M&M Das Boot. Another bit of cheap advertising on my tree. Then, the cutie pitootie bear in a sock. I may have gotten it as a gift or I got it from a box of Salada tea. Don't know. Nothing more to see here. Move along now.  Oh yes, the tune in the dog is "Jingle Bells". Let's all sing it like the dogs we are. "Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof." Junk Blog.

-Ric