It's the original. It's an 80's sensation. It's the most popular board game. It was a board game first that they actually made a TV game show around. It was 1.00. I knew there would be nobody to play it with me, but I bought the game because it was 1.00. You know, one can read and memorize all the cards and win against everybody. That would be cheating. Does anybody play this any more?

Ahhhh that's right. They have special versions. They can deal new cards. I believe there are special versions of this game all over the place. You can keep the same set and just use a new set of cards. Everything from Disney to the 80's to porn to My Little Pony. Well, likely not, but the others exist and they completely reinvent the game with new cards. Hey! A Baby BOOMER edition! I know a Boomer, I wonder if he's a BABY...nahhhh.

Can they get a board looking any more SATANIC? Where do you put the devil candles and hold the seance? Spirits of the North and of the South and of the East and West, come to us and speak your peace. I remember when I was really young, I sat in on such nonsense on our enclosed front porch in the evening. I believe it was a friend of my brother's girlfriend or maybe her sister. My mom wasn't home that's for sure, she'd have none of this. I think I became restless and wanted her to smell the Nerf football that my brother had farted in giving the Nerf Effect (TM). (The art of farting in foam only to still smell it years later. It's in the Urban Dictionary. I think.) Nah, this was one game designers way of saving money by using stock artwork. Hey! Didn't Wendys have tables like this in their restaurants?

Lookit all that crap that comes with the game. Dice. Plastic pies. Decks of cards. Lots of cards. A fine description of the categories. That's helpful and a selling point for other card sets. So, the idea is to answer questions, get them right, and earn a piece of your pie. Once you have all the colors of your pie filled, you have to go to the center of the board and answer a final question of another players choosing. That's that. I never played the regular version. A lot of the questions are history or classic movies or other crap. I don't know nothing.

Hey! Mr. Fat Hanz! You need chap stick on that thumb! Here is a typical card. They have history questions and sports questions and , hell. I don't know any of the answers on this card. Here's my best guesses to them all:

G: The Maserati. No Wait, the Suzuki River. No, um... the Polluted Sewer. No? Um... Pass.

E: Fred Flintstone. He was my favorite Nazi. Yabba Dabba HEIL! Hoooooooogan? Shultz was pushed.

H: Speaking of Hogan....Hulk Hogan. He was the sandman right? Or maybe it was the Iron Sheik. F-It. No idea.

AL: Fred Frith

SN: He farted into a tube after eating 10 bean burritos from a participating Taco Bell

SL: F**K, I have no idea BIT*CH. I need a beer.

Oh yeah. The internet. Maybe that's why this game isn't played so much any more. I used to play this all the time with my friend Rob-O! Only, we played it with the TV edition that came out in the early 90's. It was also the game we were evenly matched in, question for question. We always ended up with the last question being the decider between us. We'd always ask a question about classic television that was too old for either of us to know anything about. It would be "Who was the star of the Lucky Strike presents Steak and Lard" or 'Who was the producer of Camel Smoke Em' If You Got Em' "Improve Your Health By Eating Asbestos" show. Those would always throw us for a loop until we got an easy one "Who played Ralph Kramden in the Honeymooners?" It was the luck of the draw.  My copy is the junkiest junk game I own. What some pie bud? Piece of pie? Pie? 

-Ric