Mask up your pot scrubbers that you use for Christmas tree decorations. We're going to have lots to talk about on this edition of Junk Blog. Starting with this. I'd found these dog face shaped pot scrubbers in my Super K-Mart that was a place I'd shopped forever. It was one of the first Super K-Marts in the area and was the place I'd go every year for those last minute gift items. Actually, It used to be a novelty to have a store open 24 hours. Zayre would stay open 24 hours at Christmas and my friends and I would go every year at 3am just to see the peeps in a Zayre at 3am. (Also to check on cheap Atari VCS cartridge stocks.) That gave way to TWIN VALU when it opened near the Euclid Square Mall. Huge grocery/general store. "I looked at the VCR, the VCR didn't look back." (From their commercial...) K-Mart "PARMA" was actually in Cleveland at the fringe and moved to the new Super K in the  early 90's. I swear when I moved back to Cleveland, I'd go to Super K at least once a week for groceries and ALWAYS bought shoes there. (Good old Footstar jobbers.) I found doggy scrubbers on a peg hook in my later trips to KMart. Of course they couldn't be used for dishes. They still even have the tags on them.

GO BROWNS! WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!! (Familiar, but this year, we beat the Stillers twice in a row including once at their house where we'd pretty much never won a game, let alone a playoff meeting.) I normally top my tree with a cheap mini mask of wolf fangs and nose. This year, I wanted to have something reflect the year's doings since it was so unusual. I tried to fit the mask on the headless fangs but no mas, so the doggy scrubber came into use. I also had a mini bottle of Purell to put on there and a "Nervous Dog" coffee company coffee wrap was also new to the tree this year. Why not. In 2020 , I've been a Nervous Dog without the coffee,

A word about cheap Christmas trees. Nobody puts an "expires by" date on a fake tree. Every year I put it up and every year while I'm putting it up and when I take it down, I'm "treated" with a ton of needles that decided to end their years holding beer cans and dog scrubbers on my tree. This year, I could really see how "Charlie Brown" my tree was getting, with some of the "branches" being just green wrapped wires.

Look at the age of this tree! 2006 was so long ago. *Gulp* So, I'd estimate for a cheap dog like me that loves tradition and doesn't want to throw an old tree out to get a shiny pre-lit silver airplane tree. I'll probably have this tree for another 47 years . It will go into the Smithsonian and a tribute to how cheap an American can be and how if you stock your tree with enough decoration crap, who needs needles. Your vacuum thanks you. 

Being of cheap retail, I got these for $10 each one year at my participating DolGenCorp. They are lit with a night light and my guess is they should have small trains running by them. I love mine so it's my tree decoration every year. Dollar General is the modern Woolworths except in a small space. They have a little bit of everything and a cheap prices. They aren't big box where you have to walk across a mile of store to go from paper towels to underwear. They have big bottles of mouthwash cheap. That's worth buying every time. I know I've waxed poetic about  this company and deservedly so. Why not open a store that has a lot of things that you would normally drive thirty miles to get. I'd call that a community service store. Oh yeah, and to have Lo Lo discount prices as well?  Good on ya, DolGenCorp. Of course, mine is two blocks away...

Here in Cleveland, we have a chain called Discount Drug Mart. They started back in 1969 in Elyria, Oh. Funny but when I was just a chunk, I remember riding in our 1967 Ford Fairlane 500 Wagon with the gas tank that fell out. We'd drive to Drug Mart on Abbe Road to try the Bonnie Bell 7-UP Flavored Lip Smackers back when you would just smear on the big demonstrator tube regardless of who came before you. Simpler times. Abbe Road was indeed the very first location for Drug Mart, and it likely was a closed grocery store that they moved into and expanded into other stores. It's still there as the anchor for the strip center that used to also have a Hardees restaurant. Greasiest burgers and bad fries and always seemed like a budget McDonalds. "Budget" back then meant closer to where you lived so you'd save a few cents in gas.  I do like the Christmas bag they came up with. Santa..right? Santa in a MASK right? Get it? Thank you Dr. Claus. Give any enemas to those reindeer? Stop feeding them FONDUE.

Another common foe to home owners at Christmas time. Every year you bring out that big keeper full of Christmas lights and you spend hours making sure they are untangled. Then you dutifully test them to make sure they still work. Undoubtedly, one or two cheap ass strings of lights will go cheap ass on you and cheap ass not work. When I talked about expiration dates for trees, there should be a date on any string of Christmas lights marked " random". Hey, they could be like our Governor "X-10". (I call him that because he keeps extending our 10PM curfew and most recently didn't say how long it would be extended for...) Even a fancy string of lights like the ones that I got this year may last for the "five year" warranty period or not work when I pull them out next year. Who do you send Christmas lights too? Yes, 2020 was a bit tough to find multi color lights so I paid a premium for this string. It was the last wrapped string at my local big box home improvement store and it actually wasn't with the rest of the remainder lights. I was lucky because the strings that I had tested in my house, suddenly didn't work once they were in place. I tell ya, BIG CHRISTMAS LIGHT is laughing all the way to the bank.

Of course, I had another problem to contend with this year. When I moved in, I had a few GCI outlets installed on the house so I could use electric garden tools without plugging them into really really long extension cords from inside my house. Well, before  the pansamatic, I had a roof replaced and other work and I'm guessing  someone dropped something on my new 15 year old and very weathered heavy plastic CGI outdoor outlet cover leaving it with a wonderful hole through it. A nice sized hole that allowed the weather to get inside and well, do what water does best. Of course, I use a lawn mower that is electric powered but I use a really really long cord plugged into my garage. So, I hadn't seen the outlet since I took down the lights at the beginning of 2020. I went to plug in my lights this year and noted the crack in the cover then noted the GCI  circuit was "popped". So when I pushed the button, a very unsatisfying "CRUNCH" was heard. GCI outlets are supposed to "click" when you reset them, not CRUNCH! So, I became an electrician. I went to said big box home improvement store and but the same outdoor GCI and cut the power in my place and went to unscrewing the spider hut that was my outdoor outlet. Actually, the instructions were simple and the outlet replaced easily other than I had to re-size a screw because it didn't fit into my outlet box quite right. Geeze. I's an electrician nau. Of course a generous patch of Gorilla Tape went over the hole. I'll replace the box cover this Spring.

The good news from this year is my family and I had as "normal" a Christmas as we could despite the pansamatic and a personal loss. My mom and I thought we would buy gifts for my sister in law and have dinner and do stuff like every year, with the added protection of 6 feet of distance and masking when moving. Thankfully we made it through and had a warm, remembering time.  My brother and sister in law had just moved to a new house so she asked for a new high tech and yet, very light hose. I have a really heavy 100 Ft one that waters all the way around the house and I love it. Must be 25 years old and shows no signs of it. This one is made from the same stuff bullet proof jackets are made of? Point being, you'll need a second mortgage for one of these, but so light when you carry it around to wash your car or fill that dog dish in the summer.

Oh yes, did I mention we had SNOMAGEDDON TWO this year for Christmas. We've had a history of every three-five years, it snows a lot on Christmas. F those "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" bastards. NO I'M NOT! Especially this year when staying at mom's during a PANSAMATIC is the last thing I'd want to do. Since Mom and I had our usual Christmas thing on Christmas eve, I went to her house and it was snowing but the roads were passable. Three and a half hours later... It DUMPED ON US. I tried to leave, not being one that lets the weather stop me. When the rear of my car went through an intersection before the front of my car and I was taking up three lanes of a five lane street, I decided maybe I should go back to mom's and wait it out. So, with masking, hand sanitizer, and distancing.... I had a great night/morning of sleeping on the couch and watching Sipowitz arrest a perp and then learning all the Christmas Western tropes. It wasn't until noon when we had a crack in the sky. So I took my camera out and snapped this pic. The good thing is, it was light fluffy snow so while it took me forever to clean my cheap jeep, it was okay to drive home and shovel out my driveway so I could pull into my garage.

Oh, you know how I complained earlier in this post that half the lights wouldn't work later this year when I put them up again? Maybe because I stuff them into a container willly nilly.... Actually, that's a sting of lights on top that only half the string works. I can't throw those out right? RIGHT? So on the top of the container it goes.  See you in November and half of you BETTER WORK DAMMIT!

A few things I got for Christmas this year. Mom gave me a toilet light. This was all fun and games until I actually put three AAA batteries in this thing that reminds me of the small while music box kids used to have attached to their training pottys that played a little ditty while they tried to doot in one place rather than while playing in the living room with big animal blocks or in the yard while riding your trike. No, this act of wonder, this fine "as seen on your telescreens" device actually works great! It eliminates the need to "search" for the target without turning on the lights that I'd assume most men do. (Women, this device would mean less to you unless you're blitzed.)  The toilet lights the way in several colors and works as it says. Your toilet is now a super bright night light. Hotcha!

Yes, in the category of "Okay, so we can get these easily now, I'm still using my odd cloth/paper clip/coffee sealer design" I got 50 more masks and these are in black. Are they better or worse than medical blue? Actually these are a bit bigger and have a better nose clip to hold them, so I like these a bit more, but in reality... Why do both boxes of masks that I now own have a weird musty basement scent?  Ahh, I did find a use for them...

Reuse that elastic! I listed before the trouble I had with obtaining elastic for my previous masks. I had to wear them around my head, which meant I had to take off my hat and expose my bad hair cut. I couldn't use the existing elastic as an around the ear mask design because the elastic was thin and cut into my ears, Enter non medical surgical masks, I had two of the blue ones that I had to use when I forgot my deluxe mask and I popped the elastic off of them rather than throwing them out and tied them to my paper clips. A little adjusting which is pretty easy because of the cloth over wrap around the elastic, and I had a new version of my mask!  I have a mask made of a darker cloth and well, the black mask gave up it's elastic to match. See? Adam Carolla?  I try not to waste anything either. Want an old blown CGI outlet or broken cheap electric heater?

Ahh yes, re-use of stuff. Sometimes, it's a needed thing because of other things. Case in point. Doggy Calendars. I buy two of these every year so my friend Boomer and I can gush over how KEYOOOTE the "Mutt Of The Month" is. Silly poop. This year I was met with the package you see here and "New! Eco-friendly design" promising some new way they are attempting to save the planet. The package was thinner and weighed a little less. UH OH. It also was a buck more than the past 36 years. UH OH. Higher price, less $$$ to make = ECO FRIENDLY right? RIGHT?

Their idea of ECO FRIENDLY is rather than mounting it on a sturdy plastic base as they have done for the past 72 years of making these calendars that I buy EVERY YEAR is to totally redesign the base to a heavy cardboard stand that is so much more ECO FRIENDLY than a sturdy plastic base that has been used for 162 years right?  (I'm sure in the 40s, the sturdy plastic was BAKELITE like every cheap radio case... before that it was crafted from a solid piece of military iron and before that was chipped from bedrock. ) No, we'll do it in CARDBOARD to hold up this heavy desk calendar. You see how it tore just trying to get the damn thing assembled? Ahh, but there was a fatal flaw to this new ECO FRIENDLY design. Sure, after six months, it would weigh half and would probably work well, but what about the first part of the year? Tear a page, pull the whole thing down on itself. Set a coffee down or vibrate the surface that this ECO FRIENDLY stand is located, it flops down faster that the dogs they are showcasing. It's okay when my dog flops at my feet but not my ECO FRIENDLY MORE EXPENSIVE calendar. *grumble*

Solution? Use the OLD F-ING  STAND! I folded up the new ECO FRIENDLY stand and set this top heavy calendar on the type of stand that had worked since I started buying these calendars in 2002.  *end rant*

Now for the musical portion of this Junk Blog. This is "KG" from King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard. It's a compact disc. The way I prefer to buy music since I could afford to buy music. Of course, I had to wait for a MONTH after the album was released, Pansamatic delays. This is VOL. 2 or my favorite album from these boys "Flying Microtonal Banana" where they played music using the notes between the notes on their guitars, making this odd and new. On this album, they revved up the sound and replaced "Banana" as my favorite Gizz release. They had the pansamatic to deal with as well so this was largely an assembled album with each musician playing parts at home. Better or worse? Unique I'd call it, and no worse for wear because it's now my "Faaaaaaaavorrrrite". (Thanks Richard Christie.) I'm gonna have to get me one of them record player deals...

Even though I knew the album backwards and forwards because they had placed it on the web in glorious 128K Netsonic (TM) sound, I still got to follow my tradition of pouring myself a nice bourbon beverage, putting on my good headphones, and sitting down to hear the fidelity. Yeah, I did hear stuff that I couldn't when I listened to it the old.....OHHH, put this on a USB chip in 192k so I can have it in my car. No, not the bourbon...

McCartney 3 !!! When I heard that the former Beatle had cooked up something in his studio and had done all the work by himself except with the help of an engineer, I said... Yawn. However I do own McCartney 2, His solo album cooked up the same way in the early 80's. It was one of the first CDs I bought because it had great tunes on it like "Temporary Secretary" and "Check My Machine". Other than that, I had a few Beatles albums like when Sgt. Pepper was released on CD or George Harrison's pre Wilbury's release "Cloud Nine" which I loved. What got me to take a chance on this release was hearing his interview with Howard Stern. Sir Paul talked about one song getting backlash because it went on too long and despite his engineer and others saying to shorten it, he thought better.  I love it when  an artist insists the hip people are going to see. The track "Deep Deep Feeling" has become one of my favorites. I even bought 2018's "Egypt Station" because I was hearing from the reviews that "3" wasn't as strong as "his best album in a long time". I gotta say, I like that album as well, but not as much as "3". How could a Beatle in his late 70's create such great music that young punters (and aaaaaging punters like me) could get a groove on with? Good on ya Sir Paul. You should buy this album or at least stream it to see how much hips you see. :)

The other bit of musical magic comes from these Swedish musicians known as the "Viagra Boys". Now, I know what you're thinking. When I saw them on a poster with one of the punk bands I like "Surfbort" , I though they had the dumbest name, but I checked them out anyway. Instant fan. Period. An American with twisted thoughts on dogs, shrimp, drugs, aliens and frogstraps teamed up with punkers  with talent of their own. Plus, they have a punk sax player to give them a really unique sound. Their first album was more collection of singles. This album "Welfare Jazz" seems like my old friend, the "album journey". Where start to finish, you want to hear what's next and you want to repeat the album at the end. Not for everyone, but awesome for fans of old punk or industrial.

AND NOW....THE QUICKENING!!!!   (Fast entries. Lightning round. 5 Hours to do this crap??)

If you use a product because you like it, don't be "forced" into buying another flavor because your local DolGenCorp is out of your flavor. This "Moisture Blast" blend of Irish Spring is very very VERY smelly. It's a good smell mind you, but I would have liked them to tone it down about 27 ticks. They were out of Coast and didn't have regular scent Irish Spring. Oh well , only 7 more bars to go...

Now I know why I haven't eaten this stuff since I was a kid. Sweet sauce? Misc meat that makes Taco Bell look good? Really, this wasn't bad, but when you'd rather have potato pierogis....

Bubble gum. I started buying these in 2019 when I bought a ton of bubble gum for Boomer. (He chews a lot of gum.) I tried these, and fell in love. Very tasty and won't rot your teeth.

Pansamatic cleaning essentials. Getting easier to buy this stuff. The Woolite was for my mom. She's got a cat that doesn't always find the littler box. The Softsoap was for me as were the Purell refills. Mmmmm. 99% Clean.

I was so exciting about finding those jumbo refills of Purell. No longer would I have to "suffer" with the smell of "poopiez". Then Mom gave me this for a gift. Um, it's flipping the switch on the smelly stuff to overly perfumed stuff that really has a pleasant smell, but WAY TOO STRONG. You can smell it on your hands after 4 more hand washings, even with DISH SOAP. I has Purell now. That's all I need. Mom said to bring it back for her to give the smell test. Okay. Here ya go.

PHEW. Pee-YEW! Whew! Yes, like I said before, I don't want to waste anything, so the mask went from my pot scrubber as my Christmas tree got put away for another year, but the mask? Why not strap it on my door fox which came with the house. He guards my door and now he lets me know when I've farted on the futon.  JUNK BLOG. -Ric