A man built this! It's a Mr.T air freshener! He pities the fool who drives around in his early 80's GMC van without the sweet smell of Mr. T covering up the smell of cigarettes and sexxin on the mattress in the back. I'm sure that fans of the big man during his popularity would have adorned their 1979 Chevrolet Monza's with his likeness after consuming a bowl of Mr. T cereal, and trundling off to school with a Mr.T lunch box and a Mr. T Trapper Keeper (TM). Yes the manly likeness of the parfumed smell could x out your cheeseburgers and cigarettes and 70's GM "used car" smell. What a treat. I piddy duh feul who don't have a Mr. Tee air freshener.

He looks like such a bully too. Anybody who was a fan of formula TV viewed and perhaps liked the A-Team. It was a band of Vietnam vets who were in the wrong place at the wrong time and are now all wanted by the law for crimes the did not commit. Of course, you can hire them out to solve your problems. Once hired, they usually assembled the team, broke one guy out of a mental institution and went to watch at least 2 cars a show get wrecked. This was every show. Hmmm.

Formula #2: A horrible actor with a false identity in talking smart car would solve crimes and see that at least two cars wrecked. Hmmm.

Formula #3: Two fun loving southerners always run afoul of a bumbling law and make sure at least two cars were wrecked a show.  Rinse. Repeat. Stock footage of going through the "Hazzard County Car Wash" to waste that hour of TV. It's what we watched. It was that or NOVA on PBS.

Say what I just said about the above. Go ahead and say it. I liked it. Now when I see it, I really can't watch it other than to make fun of it. It's like Miami Vice. It's so...80's. Did anybody watch that crap?  I think some of the lustre came off the gold when he appeared with Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night Live and other places. Hulk was bulked and crazy, whereas Mr.T was no slouch, but looked like a dwarf in comparison. Competition came in and slowly the show fell out of favor with nudniks. I don't think I even watched any of the final season when they were "found" by the government and then went to work for them rather than going to the slammer. Phew. Is the guy that talks to his car on? Have Coy and Vance left because Bo and Luke worked out their contracts? Is St. Elsewhere on? Oh, how did good 80's television get mixed in...

So what? Why would I keep one of these? I really didn't need it or use it. It was something you could get as you checked out of the Bee Clean car wash. They kept them in a carton that folded out and made a great display or they hung them on peg hooks next to the evergreen trees or the the strawberry or cherry air fresheners or even the Scott Baio plastic Jesus.  Man, it was the 80's.

Here's why. Once upon a time, we had malls. Some of these started as open air centers and then were enclosed. Most of them featured at least one grocery store. By the early 80's, these stores had moved to bigger store locations leaving the mall to tear down or re-purpose said store. Hence the old Fisher Fazios store at the Westgate Mall (both things of the past) was turned into a local discount drug store close out kinda junky messy shopping mecca called JAX. I used to drive past this every day on my way to selling dead grandpa's living relatives on their Playboy subscriptions. One such trip, I found they had 10 boxes containing 20 each of these. They were 10 cents each, so a box of 20 would be $2.00. (Simple math.)  This was about five years after Mr. T had gone off weekly TV. Value closeout. I had found the gag gift of all gag gifts for my friend's "Big Lots" gift exchange. The friend I gave them too gave us all one.  I think he still has one as well. Ahhhh Memories.

A little better view. He really didn't say that quote. He just took the cash from it. I wonder how much they paid Mr.T enterprises for the rights to put out something stinky like this? Did you ever get a whiff of Donkey Kong er...I mean ...Mr. T cereal? (Same corn and sugar concoction, would make your milk glob up in gluten.) He was taking all he could get while his popularity lasted. One day, he ended up in a JAX discount store so idiots like me could buy a gross of these sickly smelling devices. He pities the fool that places him on painted plastic or vinyl surfaces. How many brand new Chevette or Omni dash board warranty claims were denied because of Mr. T? (A: Those cars had a warranty???) Plus, making indoor air smell outdoor fresh? Do you live right next to the foam and vinyl extruding plant and every day is 120 degrees?

Ahhh, but the real reason these were in a closeout store in Cleveland? The company that made them was based here. Likely made them here. USA! USA! I pity the fool that moves the air freshener plant to China. I pity the fool that drove a Chevette or a Monza or an Omni in the 80's. (At least they weren't a Ci-MF-Tation. Hi Dean. Sliiiiiiiide)

Thus endeth the button box proper. We now return you to the junk blog. More of the same. -Ric